hey dolls! finally got around to spending my Ulta gift card and instead of getting the bare minerals set or the BM eyeshadow ive been drooling over, i bought a bunch of random shit.
i did get this Revlon "siren" lipstick that ive been lusting after for a month. Revlon was showcasing some of their classic lipsticks and i had a boner for this bright, fantastic orange. i totally love the 50s Revlon logo as well, reminds me of Barbie! [also pictured: 'android karenina' which Brittany got me for xmas!!! its an awesome read. blowing through it much faster than i did the original in college. it helps that anna's husband is a cyborg and theres a mining robot named "Tit."]
cant wait to wear it. i love me some uber bright lipstick. my fav brights are Maybelline's "cool watermelon" (super candy-bright orange-pinkyred) and L'Oreal's "sea fleur" (vibrant fushia-violet). this is over our work notebook, thats why you can plainly see "cockring" just below the lipstick. tip: dont call the store asking us to describe how cockrings work. we know youre a creeper.
ive been regressing and am super into lip smackers lately. lately ive been rocking cotton candy and strawberry vanilla. then OMG i found these special edition Paul Frank ones!!! OMFG ITS CALLED "BUNNY GIRL'S CARROT CAKE." who can resist??? unfortuantely, although its super cute, for some reason it smells like indian food to me. maybe its just my frequent trips to Star of India lately?? seriously, thats the way it smells though.
in the center we have Sally Hanson's Vita B lip moisturizer. its been super cold and dry here in minnesota and ive been craving hardcore lip balm. this stuff is super silky and makes my lips feel awesome. its berry flavored and supposedly has vitamin b, acai and pomegranate to improve your lips condition... this is mainly what i was going for as i can keep reapplying lip smackers til the cows come home but yall know it doesnt actually do anything to actually CURE your lip's dryness. plus cute clear tube!! although i was a little miffed when i checked my reciept and learned this sucker was $4.99... thats pretty fucking high for lip balm.
this has got me longing for middle school, the heyday of lip balm obsession. one time my friend Sara and i were at a party [with an actual DJ... pretty awesome for 8th grade amirite? he was our classmate though... but i saw that guy this summer doing sound for Lords of Acid!] and we ate an entire tin of cherry vanilla tip balm! it was super tasty but im surprised we didnt have terrible barfing and shitting fits. i cant remember what brand it was... it was from Target and it was some kind of "naturals" brand along the bottom of the last row... i really cant remember the name but i know it was all fruit flavored stuff and i distinctly remember things being "guava" flavored. the balm was super rich and buttery. SOMEONE HELP ME OUT HERE!!! dammit.
EDIT: its this shit!! i cant figure out what the parent brand is though, i know they carried other products as well. but that cherry vanilla balm was the fucking shit.
Sara was also the queen of the old skool Bath & Body Works. you know, with the red and white checked awnings?? there were red and white tablecloths too and the salewomen had to wear red aprons, are you remembering this shit?? shit was all in baskets and barrels, they were going for the apple orchard thing i guess. all the product labels were hand drawn fruits and stuff.
my friends and i were super into rigid roles... everyone had THEIR signature color, THEIR powerpuff girl, THEIR 'now & then' character [amirite?? i was gaby hoffman/demi moore, the chainsmoking writer of course] and of course, their official B&BW scent. Sara's was Country Apple. she had EVERYTHING. i was a mooch and always stopped by her locker between classes to borrow her lotion [i was too cheap to buy my own B&BW]. and Sara always had the creme de la creme of lipbalms, the fat B&BW stick. like twice the size of a regular lipbalm, super buttery and delicious. the best flavors were again, cherry vanilla, and sun-ripened raspberry. these products are so fucking old i cant even find pics of them, because they were totally pre-internet. if anybody else remembers these, please comment!!
edit: Jill [the blond darling in the stripey shirt below] found this pic of the old country apple logo! yup i remeber these spritz bottles with the textured top. mm it smells like my all-time favorite year, 1998! someday ill do a post on this most awesome of years.
BONUS!!!1?: OLD SKOOL JAMZ 90S PICTURE!!!
das the crew at my fourteenth or fifteenth birthday party. that would be me on the far right in my favorite 'boys lie' tee shirts, being a little babydyke. Sara is the one looking so adorably goth in one of her gazillion smashing pumpkins tee shirt [she had every single one!!] rest assured we have all grown up to be about ten million times hotter than this!! now quick, guess which 3 are married with kids, which one is a world travelling former model and which one is a polyamorist porn store employee!
sorry, major digression... gah... ok also pictured above is an OPI nailpolish from the cher-xtina 'burlesque' movie collection [did anybody see that movie? it looked like badly acted gay vomit to me]. this is called 'let me entertain you' and its a dense magenta glitter. on sale too!!
at the last minute i grabbed this pumice block for my uber peely winter heels. bonus: its called "Rock Bottom"! just like moi!!! but after this i had a horrible nightmare that i was pumicing my heel, and i sloughed off all the skin and flesh until only had this totally awkward, weird shaped heel bone to walk on. it was fucking terrifying!! now im totally afraid to pumice myself...
how about a mini tour of some weird shit we have at work??
we just got this fabulous adult rocker/sit & spin!! my boss is totally freaked out by it because it looks so much like one of her 3 year olds toys and is totally packaged like its from fisher price. for me its somewhere in between being a good idea and being totally creepy. i mean, yes i would like a peice of furniture that would replace a boyfriend. but i would feel way fucking silly sitting in my aparment rocking and humping this thing.
this gal seems to be enjoying it though.
im disturbed/skeptical. ps this is probably my favorite totally weird photo of myself.
this is Phyllis, our mannequin. if you dont work at Fantasy Gifts, please do not take your picture with her, its just fucking weird. also do not grope her boobs or check to see what her nipples look like. i say hi to her whenever i walk by and right now im commisserating with her for still having to wear her santa hat even though its after new years. poor, poor Phyllis. [dont ask me why thats her name. thats what she was introduced as when i started 3 years ago.]
rock on, ya'll.
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