Dude so i was digging through my facebook pictures [as i am very vain and like to go back and look at pictures of myself] and i found this gem. Ang took it of me back in march when we went to see Hairball at Gerard's in sauk centre, and i was like "damn, that was fun... i should write about that. wait... didn't i already do that?" i very distinctly remember stealing a bunch of pics from Jenn's facebook and making captions on the various hottness of the band member's costumes. did i dream this? cuz i juuuust went through the last few months of the blog and i didnt see it. and lo and behold! here was a nearly completed blog entry about Hairball that i never posted!
So above we have a photo of me trying to be cool and failing miserably. what i am actually doing is air guitaring and making my winking sneer face which is supposed to look "badass." maybe it does while im in action... but my feeling is that it does not or my friends would not have been taking pictures of me and laughing. oh well. i had beers.
[pic from Hairballs FB page... totally awesome huh?]
To explain, Hairball is a cover band that covers all the awesome 80s hair bands: Poison, Def Leppard, Guns & Roses [is it Guns n Roses? i dont fucking know], Aerosmith, then other bands of the era like Alice Cooper, Queen and FUCKING PRINCE. im not a huge cover band fan but the very best part is the lead singer dresses up like each band their covering, and the live show is just fucking fantastic. lots of theater, lots of awesome imitations of the mannerisms of the singers. y'all know you can lure me in with costume changes.
Somewhat retarded fact: for the entire show i was mystified how they did the costume changes so fucking fast... i mean there is barely any gap at all between songs, and to transform into prince theres a whole crazy frilly suit to put on and fucking brown makeup!! [blackface is totally acceptable in this context] then after the show Amy informed me there are actually two lead singers. maybe im blind but i couldnt tell the difference. did i ruin the magic for you? im sorry. ps santas not real either.
Our friend Jenn [on the left above, with Ang] is totally obsessed with Hairball. shes seen them a bunch of times, and all the awesome pics of the band in this post are by her [and thus not actually from the show we went to] [thanks Jenn!]. she even has a Hairball scrapbook which she got all the guys to sign at this show! this was the first time i could make it to a show and i was super psyched. an 80s show! fucking rock show! nothing i love more than getting dressed up for a fucking rock show... so i got all out insane with my flashy ass sparkly zebra w/lace shoulders top, jean skirt, purple tights and knee high faux converese with crazy graffiti print. this outfit would cause several problems for me down the road, but we'll get there.
so the show was in scenic Sauk Centre, about an hours drive up 94 from St Cloud. mini road trip with my girls!! Jenn and Amy piled in my car and we headed up, passing by several disturbing "We Do Cows!" billboards [next to a church! apparently along with little boys, its ALSO ok to do cows]. north country... is scary. we did lol though.
They were preforming at Gerards, which is a like a restaurant/sports bar with an event center attached. where you can get a "Family Bucket" of beer... :{ we ate dinner there beforehand... if you ever eat there, dont waste your time on the appetizer sampler despite the lure of cheese curds-- most of those fuckers were empty!!! or teeny tiny cheese nubs. FAILCURDS! but do be sure and get dessert! right now i cant remember what the fuck i had, but it was unbelieveably delicious. was it lemony? or cheesecake? i cant remember. amy had one of those melty chocolate cakes and that was awesome too. it was one of those "lets order four more of these!" desserts. very "why the fuck did we eat regular dinner??"
OMG so i lost my photo of this but it was totally amazing.... we popped out to the car to put away our leftovers when i noticed the sign on the door of Amigos, the adjoining restaurant: GOTTA PULL IT HARD. so Ang and i went to pose in front of it, with handjobby gestures [which i dont think translated onto film as well as we thought], when this guy popped out of the restaurant and was like "Oh i'm sorry, is the sign offending you?" and he took it down!!! lol why would we be offended by that? and by the looks of us, would we be offended by anything vaguely handjob related? anyways what a crime that he took it down, it was hilarious.
As we finished dinner and moved into the event center to wait for the show, i started getting kind of confused/nervous about the nature of the crowd. lots of baseball caps. lots of 40ish people, soccer moms, hick couples, extremely terrible clothes. we seemed to be the only ones who had come ready to rock. Amy and i headed to the bar, got some sex on the beaches and the mysterious Woo Tang shots [what in them? we dont care, theyre called fucking Woo Tangs], and when we get back to the table i set my drinks down and then i notice that Amy has circled back to the table full of old people & hicks behind us and is bent over talking to them. she comes back and i have to bug her for a minute to get her to tell me what she was doing-- it turns out they were pointing and laughing at me as i was walking by. A-Holes!!! so my boo goes over there and tells them if they have something to say they can come over and say it to our fucking faces. I LOVE MY BESTIE!!! i felt fucking invincible, nothing makes you feel better than having someone stick up for you with a vague threat of violence!
After that i was like "fuck all y'all! we're having a good time tonight! we're here to rock!" i mean who the fuck goes to a rock show and then points and laughs at a girl with a blue mohawk??? sorry i forgot to wear my miller light baseball cap and my mom jeans! or, as the guy in the above pic is sportin, my austin powers tee shirt. that thing was fucking HYPNOTIZING, i could not stop staring at it all night.
Dude those soccer moms got fucking WILD though. look at this table! its the same table that austin powers and his momjeans friend are sitting at above! some soccer mom bitch who looked like she taught sunday school-- cardigan over her shoulders and everything-- was standing on one of the chairs rocking out and wouldnt get down when the security guard told her to, instead she was giving him little come hither gestures and shit! we saw all sorts of crazy things... the same chick was doing some swing dance shit with her man, and he did that thing where they stand back-to-back and link arms and he flipped her up over his head... and then dropped the bitch! we LOLd so hard!!!
Oh shit, and there was this amazing old hippie guy who did his little wavy-arm hippie dance the entire time, he was SO AWESOME and i wanted to ask him for drugs.
Heres some highlights of the bands they cover...
Axl Rose. aww i miss young hot Axl. he was so twinky and pretty. i really want a classic G&R shirt. i discovered the joys of belting 'sweet child o mine' [a song i dont usually particularly like] at the top of my lungs along with a crowd. everything becomes better when youve had a few drinks, are all amped up on rock and surrounded by a crowd in the same state.
while the singer was offstage between songs, Happy was talking up the next band they were going to cover, saying ladies go so nuts over the lead singer whenever they play their songs, its "gonna turn this place into a WET PUSSY FACTORY!!" i gave the biggest rock on and cheered my azz off. pussy factory ftw! and out comes... bret michaels. lol. i totally haaaaaaaaaaaaate bret michaels, or as i like to call him by his porn parody name, the Crock of Love. but Poison covers do inevitably rule. they did 'talk dirty to me' and 'nothin but a good time' which are of course awesome... but im a huge fan of 'unskinny bop' which me and my friend Misty used to yell at each other all the time... "BOP BOP BOP BOP!" ohhh and 'i want action,' that song RULES!!! maybe they'll do it next time.
a little more bret for ya... you gotta admit its a good impression.
def leppard... this outfit was fucking hot. if any guy wore this shirt and scarf combo i would totally bone them.
like i said there was an awesome Prince impression. the Alice Cooper was sick as well because he has a fucking GIANT LIVE SNAKE that he comes out with and holds while he sings. oh yes and the show ended with Twisted Sister, an entirely pink outfit complete with hot pink mic stand that made me wet my panties.
their drummer was yummy also... hard to get pics of a drummer of course but he had lovely long hair, which is totally my thing right now.
The show ended at long last and dammit if they werent right, that floor was wet and nasty as hell!! i think it was mostly spilled beer but there had to at least have been some pussy juice in there. we took some pictures... which we shouldve done BEFORE the show when we werent all sweaty and mussed but oh well.
well, Ang always looks fucking perfect i guess. Josh's face was phasing into another dimension, a possible side effect of his charlie sheen shirt.
Josh took a group pic of the ex-Lane Bryant ladies [you can see Amy and i were all pink-- it was hot up in that bitch!! big gals be roastin], and just as he was about to take it Ang started to get all girlfriend on his ass about something... i cant remember what, but check that fucking RIGHTEOUS girlfriend scowl! somebody was doing SOMETHIN wrong. *whipcrack*
haha apparently the issue was resolved.
So we had to make a final peepee stop before we left Gerards, and it was all fucking WHACK in the ladies room!! super crowded and throughout the course of the concert had become dirty as hell [no hate on Gerards' facilities... i went in beforehand and it was nice, those hick bitches are just nasty]. there was a used tampon applicator on the floor in my stall! so i go to pee and im goin at it and notice fucking STEAM is coming up between my thighs!! im like GUYS MY PEE IS STEAMING HALP!!!! thats how hawt i am. i was alarmed but found out through later confrence that the other gals experienced the same thing, it was just so frigging hot in the concert and then freezing cold in the bathroom there was some atomospheric shit happening. this happened to me again at a bar so i guess its not that weird. either that or my body is extremely weird.
Hmm i feel like shit happened in the parking lot... oh yeah! it had frosted up while we were in there so i was scraping my car and so was the car next to me, and there was a very drunk guy there who was asking all of us how hot we thought he was on a scale of 1-10. Amy totally lied and i think told him he was like a 6. i partially lied and told him i was a lesbian and thus had no opinion. its not entirely false! then i guess after we left Ang and Josh saw some boobies in a limo... dammit!!! i always miss the good stuff.
So in summary Hairball definately fucking rocks... the concert was awesome, i could sing and stomp to Queen and ACDC all night long. go see them if you get the chance!! i missed their april show due to my crazies but ill definately be reporting on more shows this summer. LOL according to their calander they're playing at the "Worlds Largest Office Party" in Eau Claire, WI. that sounds so intriguingly lame... if it wasnt a long ass drive id totally go! i wonder if theres a huge potluck where everybody makes their favorite dip? i think everyone should go dressed as their favorite Office character. i have a total Phyllis sweater!
I digress. keep on rockin.
[via hairball's fb]
all Hairball live photos (c) Jenn L.
Gerards
1225 Timberlane Drive
Sauk Centre, MN 56378
(320) 351-3463
