So ive been a very, very naughty girl... i had a legit reason to not blog all summer, as i was staying at my parents house and didnt have my computer, but i swore i would start again when i got my own place in sartell in september. and here we are. november. bad, bad girl. and not in a fun way.
Things have happened, and things havent. I cant really describe. heres a shitton of pictures.
i had dreads for a while in the summer. they were really awesome, beautiful handmade dreads off ebay. super heavy though. im putting them back in this winter as a permanent hat.
i was in the crazy hospital for a while. they gave me this mysterious bob barker soap. like i needed that extra push over the edge into insanity.
bitchin snakeskin heels. ive never actually worn these anywhere, but i keep them next to my computer for those awesome moments when you like, hear good news from a boy and need to do an awww yeah, crank up some sexy music, light a cigarette, swig some wine and prance around knowing how awesome you are. i actually do this. occasionally. i need to wear them on a date like, soon. either these or my lipstick red pointy heels are going on my next date with me *taps nails impatiently waiting for boy to call*
i went to rocky horror with my peeps jackie, amy and misty. we are beautiful and sexy and dont hang out enough.
it was geek appriciation rocky horror, as it was right after CONvergence in minneapolis. i was expecting costumes, however i was NOT expecting there to be FREAKING DALEKS and a rather hot doctor at the end of the show. there was much plunger gesticulating, it was amazing. i was shrieking. my friends did not understand.
i got some new tattoos this summer. this is the first of hopefully many junko mizuno tats, and my first semi-explicit tattoo. she needs more color, STILL, because this blog is not the only thing that i procrastinate on.
i got a darth vader tattoo too!! i decided to just say fuck it and get going on the really geeky tattoos. whatve i got to lose. this is just a stencil, i oddly dont have any pics on my computer of the finished dark lord. the shading on it is totally insane. my tattoo artist Peter McLeod is a genius.
this is the best thing about my new apartment. the totally insane walk in closet. seriously a large part of why i signed the lease. this is like, less than a quarter of the floor space. i can get all of my seasonal shoes out at once, which is impressive. these are half the summer shoes.
a kind of blurry photograph trying to capture the whole closet. its a really weird shape so its hard to photograph.you can see my tall hooker boots on the top <3
this is an absolutely fucking disgusting thing that i found in my chipotle barbacoa burrito. fork for scale. this is tough, rubbery, impossible to bite through. im thinking its either skin or intestines. it was seriously the grossest thing ive ever put in my mouth. MOST FOUL. it still freaks me the fuck out. im almost positive it has some kind of sentience... i wouldnt even leave it in the garbage overnight, i took that sucker straight outside.
dora doesnt sleep. dora waits.
i was conversing on facebook when a heavenly portal opened up in my browser, and lo, paget brewsters boobs appeared.
this is pretty much what ive been doing the past few months. being lazy and angsty, reading clive barker, sighing.
more of the sexy shoes, plus tattoos and a gang sign.
my friend joshifer and i had a thing where we get together every week or two, get drunk and watch anime and youtube videos. its perfectly awesome/lame. this lead to literally hours and hours of watching AMV hell on youtube. im not even going to glorify that with an explanation of what AMV hell is. finding it as funny as i do might mean that im retarded. especially given that i watched like three hours of it alone, with wine, as pictured.
theres a lot of this. its dead silent, and the penguin just slowly and dramatically tips the bucket over. words cant describe. obviously, because that sounds fucking retarded.
things have been weird lately. in the end i guess you just hope the highs eventually outweigh the lows. im in the shit now though, i cant really go back, and im doing the thing i ultimately really love to do despite the madness. you should really be reading my twitter. you will never consider me sane again.
the aforementioned friend josh just left for california today, unfortunately for good :'( im super sads about it. hes one of my best friends, possibly the friend i actually hang out with the most. as a parting gift, i received his highly enviable collection of mcdonalds sauces. it is a thing of beauty.
he had them in a drawer in his apartment. i could only continue the tradition. this is the best use of a kitchen drawer ever.
will miss you bro. and your glass that can hold two full size sparks. however, it does not make them taste any better.
more stuffs to come. i have a few specific events that need their own posts. i promise ill come back sooner than six months. love you!!
so as always we'll start the post by appologuising for not blogging ever. i mean it this time though... its been like a month and a half!! some legit shit's gone down though... i was majorly depressed an basically had a mental breakdown, tried to overdose, lost my job, lost my boyfriend. a whole world of suckage. i kind of hit rock bottom and as my mom said, i was "kind of acting like charlie sheen."
its what all the cool kids are doing nowadays!
for the several months of depression i pretty much did nothing but slept 14+ hours a day, more if possible facilitated by taking all manner of sleep aids: amitriptaline which jackies old roommate had left her [i used to take it for sleep problems, its actually an antidepressant but its prescribed for sleep now], drug store sleep pills, nyquil. id sleep, wake up, and take something else. i just didnt want to be awake. i was still dragging my ass out of bed to go to work at Fantasy Gifts but it was a huge struggle every day leading to tears sometimes because i just didnt want to go. while i was there i hated every second of it, especially those when there were customers in the store. i was pretty okay if the store was empty and i was just reading... but any customers sent me into a wiggins. i started shirking ALL the rules and used my phone and read while customers were in the store to make it more tolerable and make msyelf feel less anxious and awkward. i played endless rounds of solitaire on my phone just to have something else to look at other than customers. people probably robbed us blind, but i really didnt care. i was late for work all the time and making constant mistakes, and i was sure i was going to get fired.
i was still dating Luke at this time too but seeing him very rarely, like every other week, due to our work schedules plus when his partner would let him see me. half the time i would cancel our dates especially if they had to do with going out and doing anything or any special things we had planned because of nerves, i just wanted to stay in bed. at the same time i was courting a few other guys, and i would text-flirt them, send them naughty pics, then make plans to meet up and cancell them at the last minute. i think i was just kidding myself to think that i could even leave the house. i would always think, this time would be different, ill really go... and i wouldnt. id do this with everything, going out with friends, my therapy appointments. i couldnt leave the house, i couldnt even leave my bed i was in such a deep depression. i couldnt even put clothes on or take a shower, all i wanted was the darkness and my pillow.
i made a conscious choice to quit going to my therapy and med check appointments. i decided to just give up and go off the deep end, i just didnt give a shit anymore about anything. the only thing remaining was my job, and one day i just gave up on that too. i decided i wasnt going to go, and to avoid it, i took a handful of sleeping pills and antidepressants. yes, i went out and got a pizza beforehand just in case i died, i wanted to treat myself to a good meal [a $5 little caesars pizza... i didnt have the money for lobster]. i ate the pizza, turned off my phone, and told my roommate to check on my in 12 hours to see if i was dead or alive. i cant say if this constitutes an attempt to kill yourself or not, but i definately didnt care if i died or not.
i know rite, how cliche. like one of my high school idols, marla singer: "this isnt a for real suicide thing. this is just one of those cry for help things."
obviously, i woke up. feeling like shit and kind of disappointed that nothing happened, there was no ambulance, no fanfare, and nobody except my roommate knew about it. the problem when you dont actually wind up in the hospital is then you have to actually TELL people that you tried to kill yourself, and thats just kind of awkward. so i had the pleasant task of telling my boss and then my mom about it. im a pussy so i wrote my mom a long, completely insane letter that i hope is saved forever and put in a museum someday. if i had it id scan it right now and post it, the writings all over the page and you can visually see how batshit it am. my mom did her mommy thing and faxed it to my therapist, my psychiatrist and my social worker....
so heres a little lesson for all your aspiring suicidal psychotics out there: if youre planning on writing your loved ones a note about how you want to kill yourself, and they fax that note to a mental health professional, guess what happens? they call the police. so its... five days after my pill-popping event and my roomie wake me up at 8am, scared shitless because the cops are at the door looking at for me. Jackiedarling is currently awaiting trial for a DUI so this scared the TAR out of her, thinkin, "theyre coming to get me!" and *im* thinking, "what the fuck did i do last night???" because the night before me and Amyboo had gone out and gotten shitfaced because well, why the fuck not? when youve gone off the deep end and your main option is going to the mental hospital, you better drink the fuck up while you can. so we did get shitfaced and i was PRETTY sure we didnt do anything illegal but i know Amy did yell "NIGGA PLEASE!!" really loud in the white horse and is that a hate crime...? or maybe did we run somebody over? witness the shenanaigans:
amy compells me to tell you she does NOT have the herpaderp, she had just gotten a new peircing that day. we are drunk as balls in the White Horse bathroom taking pictures. its about 1am and we were wearing sunglasses in a bar thats dark as an armit. THATS HOW WE ROLL. we'd just bought new sunnies that day... keep in mind that i cannot see SHIT out of mine because they're not prescription.
"wait, stand in front of me so i dont look fat!" thanks a lot boo.
my natural badassery. lookin and feelin invicible... definately winning.
anyways... back to the next mornging, and never in my life have i had a cop at my door so i was scared as fuck. but it was a quick "do you want to kill yourself now? no? well be good." conversation. just a warning though... thats what happens when you tell people you want to kick the bucket. its a pretty ineffectual system unless youre actually passed out in your room about to go into the light and they have to kick the door down.
so then i had some fun conversations with my doctors. around the time i wrote the note i had a major upswing where i was still feeling crazy as hell and like i didnt give a fuck about life but there was a lot of rambling and yelling. i was essentially "sheen-ing out." there was a point where i was ranting to my therapist and i realized i wasnt even listening to what i was saying, i couldnt even understand my own words, and i looked at him and said "did anything i just said make sense?" and he was like "nope."
LONG STORY SHORT, this incident caused my doctors to realize that i am not majorly depressive with borderline personality disorder, im actually bipolar. the two have very similar symptoms and because ive only really been going to therapy when im having major depressive swings they havent really seen the mania so its difficult to diagnose. the problem is that the antidpressants ive been taking [lately generic Celexa] actually make bipolar symptoms worse, which is why ive gotten incredibly depressed. for the last two weeks ive been on Lithium which is supposed to really help. it also makes me feel AWESOME because its such an uberdrug and is mentioned in a lot of great songs! theres the nirvana song:
and then, more shamefully theres the Evanescence song, which is now stuck in my head all the time.
yeah, so thats my life right now. i dont have a job or a boyfriend anymore, and right now im on a waiting list to get into a partial hospitalization program where'll ill go in every day for like six hours of various kinds of therapy. ive been prepping for this by watching plenty of girl interrupted, although my therapist has informed me that mental hospitalization has been significantly reformed post-reagan so its unlikely ill be hanging around playing acoustic guitar and shaving in front of whoopi goldberg. slightly disappointing. i have this fantasy of looking SO MUCH COOLER than all the other mental patients with my dyed hair and bright fuschia lipstick and everyone will think, well shes crazy but shes so COOL too, ill be like their angelina jolie.
i wouldnt complain if some of this happened.
this is pretty much me.
[bonus late-great brittany murphy! she is SO GOOD in girl interrupted... dont they know its the end of the world?]
so im just hanging out now... kind of in limbo between wanting to act all-out crazy and actively trying to get better. i want to still be crazy when i do get into treatment, you know? gotta impress them all with my mad mania skills. i do admit i was on fire for a while there. see thats the problem with bipolar disorder... the mania part of it just makes me feel totally fucking awesome. im *ON*. i get my perfect outfit and my blue hair and im like, super fucking funny. when i decided to go off the deep end and just let my emotions go i was spouting some hilarious but totally insane shit... por example: so im driving around with jackie i think en route to go clean her old apartment and i see this guy on a bike with the whole lycra shorts and safety helmet, and i just yell at him, "I WANNA TAKE A SHIT ON YOUR HEAD!!!!!" *thats* what happens when i take my filter down. its funny, but it also scares me because it comes out of nowhere and i dont know why seeing a bicyclist makes me want to shit on their head [well i mean, i do really hate people who exercise so self-righteously]. im totally worried that the lithium is going to make me loose my comedy gold, so PLEASE tell me if i stop being funny and i will go back to being a total hot mess.
whats helped me a lot during this time is reading Carrie Fisher's memoir "Wishful Drinking." it deals somewhat with her addictions to alcohol and pills but the underlying cause is her bipolar disorder. the woman is fucking HILARIOUS and i recommend this book to anyone... its got everything: insane hollywood drama from her uberfamous parents [her dad left her mom for the late great liz taylor!], the inside dish on star wars, lots of booze and drugs and craziness escapades and what a dick paul simon is.
[i much prefer this to the gold bikini btw... but thats just me. i like guns and jumpsuits.]
now it turns out all kinds of celebs are coming out bipolar! i got a new People mag that has catherine zeta-jones AND demi lovato talking about how theyve been hospitalized trying to deal with it [lovato also has eating disorder/self injury shit to deal with, poor kid! and she punched her backup dancer LOLOLOL. i hear ya sister, i feel like punching a bitch all the time]. that does help a lot to hear other people have it, and that others have needed to be hospitalized to deal with it.
im actually kind of looking forward to the hospitalization process... actually this whole period of being really open with my friends and family about whats been going on internally with me for a long time has been really freeing and nice, i actually... kind of feel like myself for the first time. i hope that ill be able to be a better person when this is through... i feel really terrible about some of the things ive done while ive been sick... especially all the people ive jerked around when i was setting up dates and gettogethers and never going to any of them. i know there are a few people that i burned bridges with that i wont get the opportunity to get to know now and that sucks. for the moment im not really dating and thats kind of good for me i think. but LAWD ive been CELIBATE for like two months, since before Luke and i broke up. i cant say this celibacy is going to last forever... cuz you know how my libido do... but i dont want to keep making promises i cant keep. and if i cant find it in me to make a relationship work with someone i like as much as him then i probably shouldnt be dating at all. eh i dont know... the dating thing is really complicated. with how much my moods and crazy ideas jerk me around i feel like i cant really trust anything i feel, except my deepest emotions like i know i love my friends and some other romantic stuff id rather not talk about.
well, i think this has gone on enough. thats sort of a general picture of whats been going on with me and why i havent been blogging a lot lately. thanks to anybody who read through this encyclopedia de crazie... i promise to be back with more fun things like shoe pics and tales of visiting prison!
xoxoxo
Jesika Gothowitz
[and oh my do i have a story for your about the Gothowitz... but i gotta leave you waiting for more. let your imaginations run wild.]
i haz a sick. its not cool. not cool at all. look how much like hammered ass i look. i was feeling so miserable at work i decided to take terrible photos of myself and send them to my friends looking for sympathy. Amy asked if i had a cold sore and was like "wait, what am i looking at here?" thanks dearest. thats really the kind of question i hope my face inspires. just in case youre wondering what i look like without makeup and at my absolute worst, here ya go:
yup. fat. kinda dykey. looking like i want to be shot. wearing my thundercats hoodie cuz i dont give a fuck. my face is breaking the fuck out as if the toxins inside me are trying to escape from this miserable shell they've been trapped in... really its just because ive done nothing but lay in bed and sleep for the last four days and havent done much in the way of showering. thank you, skin. i appriciate the totally random zit in the middle of my cheek where no oil whatsoever is produced. your spontinaety has been noted.
yup thats what ive been doing the last few days... reading like a fiend. i finished 'angelology,' 'are you there vodka, its me chelsea' and 'betrayed.' a good part of that feels like a waste of my time, as much as reading can be a waste. i should really do a book review post... next. my twitter has been filled with much anti-Pubococcygeal Cast ranting, i feel like im educating the masses on the dangers of really shitty young adult novels. seriously, our childrens minds are at stake!! [lol that would be humorous if there were any stakes in this supposed vampire novel... and i refuse to spell that with a 'y']... oh man i just need to do that book post already. tomorrow. hopefully there will be less snot in my head and i can think a little clearer. REALLY hoping today is the worst day and its not going to get even worse still.
just in case you think im an ugly lump now, here are some not so terrible pics of me to raise a beacon of hope that someday i will look like the sexy kind of hot mess again and not the gross, hopeless kind.
i was bored so i did a test of all my mascaras... realized that Last Blast Luxe in the blackened garnet color is absolutely useless and looks like nothing, so i tossed it. i then did Maybellines The Falsies on one eye and One By One on the other and concluded that The Falsies is still my favorite. kind of disappointing when you buy a new mascara only to find its not as good as the old one. thats why its called NEW AND IMPROVED, people. anybody have any mascara tips for me? i have somewhat sparse lashes and i like really black and very defined, not too goopy... i hate it when i get mascara on my lids, as then i have to redo my eyeshadow!
so, i promise you a bookie-wook post in the next day or two. i hope that isnt too boring for you fashionistas out there, gotta balance my chic with my nerdery. peace out, pray for me that i do not succumb to this black death.
xoxo,
jesitrix in her darkest hour
ps-- i have had 'Love Aint No Stranger' in my head all day, i feel like im going insane. IS THERE ANY CURE??
hey boos! as promised, my friend Emily started her book review youtube channel, you can find her at Chronicles of Daisyland. heres a sample of how adorable and awesome her videos are!
doesnt that just make you want to go caress your own books and gaze tenderly at your own bookshelf? i might have to start doing my own reviews or at least a bookshelf tour, because i do love my books muchly and i have TONS of them. plus new forum of nerdery!!
i haz blue hair now! this is a crappy photo of it and everything seems to be whited out except my double chin, but huzzah, here it is. better pictures... in the future hopefully. will take pictures tomorrow when i go out with the gurls. tomorrow we're going to Mongos [delicious mongolian bbq which an argueably racist name] and then out for drinks. should be righteous.
here's a little naughty sex tour of stuff we've got going on at Fantasy Gifts right now. this here is the Ogee from Screaming O that we just got in. supposed to be totally the shit, but i was pretty surprised at the $50 pricetag, considering it doesnt have dual motors. supposedly the bullet on the left "sends vibrations" throughout the whole thing, but that usually doesnt get the job done for me. i need a bullet right up on my business for that to work, although i guess if youre more sensitive this might do it. it can function like the WeVibe, which is also U-shaped and worn half inside against the Gspot and half outside against the clitoris during vaginal sex. this one can do the same thing, which is awesome for couples, but it doesnt have the extra vibration on the inside so i dont know if it could actually give you the Gspot orgasm. i do like that this one is super bendable so you can get the uses of several different kinds of toys out of it. we'll see if it sells... it is about half the price of the WeVibe so maybe it'll be a hit with couples. we've got it right up by the counter too, but its a little pricey for an impulse buy.
this thing gives me the roflz to no end. its a vibrating cock ring with a little elephant on it. complete with little feet and trunk. im all for vibrating cock rings-- never used one myself but i think theyre awesome and lots of couples like them-- but if i had a dick id draw the line at a little pink elephant taking residence on my wang. id think looking down on that would be a major bonerkiller. plus me and my ex had this major thing for elephants, and i so with we were still in touch so i could show him this and give him the lols.
this is our evolved tower which is extra pretty and i like to hang out around it and bask in its candy colors and sleek packages. theyre little tin and clear plastic boxes with little metal fasteners, super super cute i almost want to shell out the dough for a mediocre-powered toy just to get the totally kickass box. and omg dont you wish you had those little black stands for your own vibrators?!
closeup on the awesome boxes... that pink sucker on the right just might be mine come tax return time.... i usually try to spring for one expensive toy a year. last year i got the Sqweel, this year i think its finally time to get a fancy rabbit-style vibe. this one has little plastic discs inside that move in wave patterns, that should feel pretty freaking awesome in your vagazzle.
we got these sexily-packaged mondo dildos in based off of the real weiners of gay porn stars. its Mark Lucas' After Hours line. as yooj gay porn stars are WAY more attractive than straight porn stars, who are all steroid looking and ginormous and always keep their white socks and KSwisses on. there are virtually no straight male porn stars i find attractive.... pretty much just keni styles, sometimes james deen and sometimes jean val jean. pictured here is the fucking delicious Ben Andrews , who i would like a replica of to keep in my closet. OH MY GOD DELICIOUS LITTLE BOD. and i have a total weakness for cute gay little briefs like that. if only my man wasnt commando only... i should totally weasel him into wearing a pair of those bad boys. id have those suckers spit covered in no time.
hello my baby, hello my darlin!! mama likes... mama needs one to keep in her closet post-haste! seriously, perfect tiny bod and a GINORMOUS WANG. i suppose i ought to explain... i am not actually obsessed with giant weiners. i mean, theyre fine and all... but in recent times my best boo Amy B and i began the sharing of weiner pics [which we drunkenly coerce from our male suitors via sext] and constant weiner talk. we're just doing the guy locker room talk thing, only lady style. plus... say the word "weiner" for me. say it out loud. doesnt it feel good. weiner. peen. wang. wanger. dong. weenus. peener. ahhh it just feels so good.
anya: "now im burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children and more cash than i can manage..."
xander: "sweetie, that means youre winning."
anya: "really? im so pleased! can i trade in the children for more cash?"
ohh. if only.
kudos to the totally flaming, hand-on-hip sassy Wilfried Knight! get your sass-hand on sister.
ok... he reminds me a little bit of my bf. masculinely hairy balanced with a touch of fabulosity.
and the man himself, Michael Lucas. givin me lolz with his best zoolander duck face and ridiculously proportioned body. ahhhhhhhhh nothing in this picture seems to make sense, the more i stare at it the more i feel like im going insane! is it just me or is his head too big for his body? doesnt everything look ridonk? is it just terribly photoshopped? someone give me the dealyo.
yet another example of the unfair advantage gay porn has. ok, this guy is a little blah in the face, looking a big like a derpa ryan gosling, but hello, tattoo and pink shorts! this is really just male solos so technically its not really gay porn, and its font & design looks just like the Playgirl features we have, so maybe its directed toward women too? idk. all i know is that we need to see more of this kind of thing in hetero porn. share the love, boys.
not that i dont enjoy just watching gay porn. it has the tasty honeys and ive always loved boy/boy action, but it has its drawbacks too. ive never seen gay porn with good oral unless its hardcore/s&m dungeon stuff [embarrassingly i have a huge boner for a certain Cum Fucking Skinheads volume]... seriously, do gay porn dudes just not care as much as female porn stars about making their oral look good? nobody goes deep or does anything that looks interesting. i feel like people in gay porn dont try as hard. and once they get down to it... i just cant watch like 20 minutes of straight [lol no pun intended... i mean continuous] buttfucking. in and out. blah blah blah. idk... the world seems nuts about anal sex, but i think it looks boring. its gotta have interesting positions, and the close up sucks. peen in ass looks like basically nothing. pussy definately has its benefits.
oh the reason i posted this particular title is that Mr Tight Latin Manholes totally looks like my yummy friend Dave from california... miss you, you naughty little thing!
Tengas are the cutest male sex toys ever!!! the really make me wish i have a dick so i could stick it in one! oh the japanese... they think of everything. ive finger-fucked many of these and they feel super good... both true-to-pussy lifelike and dareisay a bit better with different textures and suction-ness. not that its better than having a real girl, but its a pretty pleasant treat for your ween if you dont have one on hand.
or you could go the other route and get the amputated lady below... shes like a girlfriend only without the pesky head and limbs!
pretty sexy covers...
Phyllis got some sexy new threads! i totally want this outfit... it comes with the blindfold too! its very slinky and soft.
and here we have the Bane of Big Girls Everywhere. the worlds cutest lingerie, available only in small, medium and large. Emily and I have mused over it many times and despite some brief wishful self-delusions have decided that we cannot, no matter how hard we try, squeeze into the large and have it look anything but retarded. i mean i probably COULD physcially get it around me, but it would sort of be like a ruffly belt with two triangular pasties covering my nipples. and it would not be pretty.
but UGHHHH it has butt ruffles! and a butt bow!!!! and those little dots? YEAH THEYRE HEARTS. ARE YOU DYING INSIDE? IM DYING INSIDE. #drama#
and again with the stabs in the heart, this time from the panties that only come in midget sizes. the large? yeah, its the only one that would fit on our panty mannequin... the one who's only the front half of a lady and has no ass. yes, if you are exactly one-half of a person, you can wear a size large!
but do not despair, my buxom beauties. we got new plus size Dreamgirls lingerie today!! actually we got the same styles in one size fits most too-- its a rare awesome occasion when we get the same cute styles in both sizes, being that the plus size DG section is like 1/4 the size of the regular. this is the sweet schoolgirl... its pink plaid, my weekness!!! needz it.
sexy maid! of all the typical fantasy outfits, maid is like the only one i dont have because a) i think servitude fantasies are a little creepy, and maids dont turn me on and b) we never have any cute ones. but this one's pretty adorable. [well we have a full on little maids dress, but its expensive... im planning on buying it for going as Columbia to Rocky Horror, maybe for march's show... the Uptown Theater in Minneapolis hosts it the last saturday of every month, preformed by the lovely Transvestite Soup crew, check it out! really fucking good times.
]
and theres another sexy cop outfit [sorry for blurry photo, camera hates DG packages]! totally my weakness! i have a sexy cop halloween costume that i ADORE and have worn to concerts and stuff cuz it has this hawt vinyl corset waist and little vinyl epaulets that connect to a collar... it actually might be featured on some KMFDM live videos because i was in the front row being filmed shakin my ass and dreads! but this... is like a bedroom version of my dress. still with the sexy waist! and a badge and a hat! i can wear it with my hooker boots! ughhh.... but its black though and i wanted to buy less black lingerie and more fun colors... uggggghhh what should i buy, and dont say all three! helpz.
just wanted to leave you with these gems... totally hideous and Should Be on the Nanny, amirite? but... arent they kind of alluring? like, i wanna be a big trashy black lady and dance in these like i dont fucking care? [they have two ankle staps, that helps] seriously, i tried these on considering buying them. but they are UNGODLY FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE. i really wish. i wouldve bought them and indulged my fran dresch dreams, for real.
so i went on my weekly trip to yon walsmart and bought my usual crapton of things. they finally have the Physicians Formula Happy Booster makeup!! its a light reflecting bronzer thingy thats supposed to have... plant ingredients and... stuff... that makes you happy. somehow. with science. and it smells like violets!! and its pink and shiny and has a little pink heart of blush... oh cmon. the science may be questionable but its awesome anyways. i put it on and it surrounded me with good violety smells [i think i had a scented blush like this when i was little, you know that toy kiddie makeup you used to get... omg i had this awesome strawberry shortcake makeup...], i never checked it out to see if it makes me glowy and light-diffusey, hopefully it doesnt make me look like an oompa loompa or my favorite, The Glazed Donut:
what color is that??? tangerine? keep in mind this is an actual person that jackie knows, somebodys xgirlfriend, who PAINTS herself this color every day. my ex's exact reaction "omg its a glazed donut wtf." exactamundo.
maybe i am turning into one of those lame sweatpants wearing snooki wannabes because i bought some hemp Malibu lotion, favorite of skin cancer booth junkies. i got it cuz its a big honkin bottle and i wanted to smell summery. dont judge me. maybe i just wanted a drink. mmmmojito.
and at last we come to the end of our nights journey... the movie haul. really wish i had a little fishermans net to put these into... because im a retard like that. all the movies are $5, totally my new addiction. we have Fern Gully, which my FB homeskillets convinced me i could not live without after i passed it over last week. apparently everyone loves this little slice of our past... remember when rainforests were like a super big deal back in like 1994? i rember being in 3rd or 4th grade and doing a whole unit on them, and tranforming our room into a fake rainforest... and there was this rap about it... remember playing Amazon Trail??? that was the shit! takin pictures... spearfishing and hitting that fucking log!! those were the days.
me to jackie just now: "you are so lucky you cant sneeze into your own boobs. it sucks."
as you can see, i also got The Orphanage, awesome guillermo del toro flick, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, which of course i love because it has porn stars, dildos and star wars, both Jeepers Creepers movies which i havent seen and i hope dont suck, but for $2.50 each it doesnt matter too much. im on a super horror movie kick lately. i wasnt too impressed with Trick r Treat which i bought last week. id heard good things about it, and it was mildly entertaining but not scary at all. and i also got season 2.0 of Battlestar Galactica... ive only seen season 1 and that was a few years ago, but i think its time to get back into the geekiness.
thats all for tonight, i hope ive thouroughly exhausted you with bloggy goodness. jackie and i are having a little buffy season 5 marathon and ive got to get back to the Riley-hating. right now im praying his heart will explode. cross your fingers with me.
