So ive been a very, very naughty girl... i had a legit reason to not blog all summer, as i was staying at my parents house and didnt have my computer, but i swore i would start again when i got my own place in sartell in september. and here we are. november. bad, bad girl. and not in a fun way.
Things have happened, and things havent. I cant really describe. heres a shitton of pictures.
i had dreads for a while in the summer. they were really awesome, beautiful handmade dreads off ebay. super heavy though. im putting them back in this winter as a permanent hat.
i was in the crazy hospital for a while. they gave me this mysterious bob barker soap. like i needed that extra push over the edge into insanity.
bitchin snakeskin heels. ive never actually worn these anywhere, but i keep them next to my computer for those awesome moments when you like, hear good news from a boy and need to do an awww yeah, crank up some sexy music, light a cigarette, swig some wine and prance around knowing how awesome you are. i actually do this. occasionally. i need to wear them on a date like, soon. either these or my lipstick red pointy heels are going on my next date with me *taps nails impatiently waiting for boy to call*
i went to rocky horror with my peeps jackie, amy and misty. we are beautiful and sexy and dont hang out enough.
it was geek appriciation rocky horror, as it was right after CONvergence in minneapolis. i was expecting costumes, however i was NOT expecting there to be FREAKING DALEKS and a rather hot doctor at the end of the show. there was much plunger gesticulating, it was amazing. i was shrieking. my friends did not understand.
i got some new tattoos this summer. this is the first of hopefully many junko mizuno tats, and my first semi-explicit tattoo. she needs more color, STILL, because this blog is not the only thing that i procrastinate on.
i got a darth vader tattoo too!! i decided to just say fuck it and get going on the really geeky tattoos. whatve i got to lose. this is just a stencil, i oddly dont have any pics on my computer of the finished dark lord. the shading on it is totally insane. my tattoo artist Peter McLeod is a genius.
this is the best thing about my new apartment. the totally insane walk in closet. seriously a large part of why i signed the lease. this is like, less than a quarter of the floor space. i can get all of my seasonal shoes out at once, which is impressive. these are half the summer shoes.
a kind of blurry photograph trying to capture the whole closet. its a really weird shape so its hard to photograph.you can see my tall hooker boots on the top <3
this is an absolutely fucking disgusting thing that i found in my chipotle barbacoa burrito. fork for scale. this is tough, rubbery, impossible to bite through. im thinking its either skin or intestines. it was seriously the grossest thing ive ever put in my mouth. MOST FOUL. it still freaks me the fuck out. im almost positive it has some kind of sentience... i wouldnt even leave it in the garbage overnight, i took that sucker straight outside.
dora doesnt sleep. dora waits.
i was conversing on facebook when a heavenly portal opened up in my browser, and lo, paget brewsters boobs appeared.
this is pretty much what ive been doing the past few months. being lazy and angsty, reading clive barker, sighing.
more of the sexy shoes, plus tattoos and a gang sign.
my friend joshifer and i had a thing where we get together every week or two, get drunk and watch anime and youtube videos. its perfectly awesome/lame. this lead to literally hours and hours of watching AMV hell on youtube. im not even going to glorify that with an explanation of what AMV hell is. finding it as funny as i do might mean that im retarded. especially given that i watched like three hours of it alone, with wine, as pictured.
theres a lot of this. its dead silent, and the penguin just slowly and dramatically tips the bucket over. words cant describe. obviously, because that sounds fucking retarded.
things have been weird lately. in the end i guess you just hope the highs eventually outweigh the lows. im in the shit now though, i cant really go back, and im doing the thing i ultimately really love to do despite the madness. you should really be reading my twitter. you will never consider me sane again.
the aforementioned friend josh just left for california today, unfortunately for good :'( im super sads about it. hes one of my best friends, possibly the friend i actually hang out with the most. as a parting gift, i received his highly enviable collection of mcdonalds sauces. it is a thing of beauty.
he had them in a drawer in his apartment. i could only continue the tradition. this is the best use of a kitchen drawer ever.
will miss you bro. and your glass that can hold two full size sparks. however, it does not make them taste any better.
more stuffs to come. i have a few specific events that need their own posts. i promise ill come back sooner than six months. love you!!
hey! sorry ive been super absentee lately. uhhhh roommate stuff, laziness, birthday stuff, actual boyfriend.... that makes it sound like im really busy but ive mostly been just sleeping and watching big bang theory and dollhouse. due to this laziness that seems to be preventing me from actually blogging, ive started a tumblr where i can dump all the photos first so you can see them in a somewhat timely manner. ive noticed a lot of my favorite blogatrices have these and theyre pretty awesome. heres agent lover's and the girl who ate everything's [omg robyn and kare from norway are dating now!!!! its like a foodblog soap opera, squee! [you probably dont care... but you should read her, and you should care, your life will be better for it]]
ummm should i actually post stuff? its 4am and i still want to cut and dye my hair before i go to bed because im going to barnes and noble with the lovely Emily W. from fantasy gifts tomorrow to look at teen vampire novels and stuff. i haz a new dorky friend lolz... we spend like three hours over valentines playing celebrity name games, and the beeotch got me hooked on reading the absolutely horrible 'house of night books'... speaking of soap operas!!! the things are fucking atrociously written, even worse than twilight, but the ridiculous plotlines make you HAVE to read it, like she has three boyfriends, a human a vampire and a vampire TEACHER whom she loses her virginity to, her best friend is a zombie, everybody loves her, everybody hates her etc. i never watched 90210 [though i SHOULD HAVE] but i imagine it was a lot like this except without the undead parts.
[i blame emily for me buying this]
and did i mention ATROCIOUS writing??? like, multiple mentions of diarrhea in the first book alone? the main character is obsessed with "brown pop"? while running for her life she thinks to herself, "a good pair of ballet flats really DOES work for all occasions?" plus i the writers name is PC Cast which i can only read as Pubococcygeal Cast.
also me and Emily have the same glasses, i should get a pic sometime. and she wants to do a book review podcast!! i will surely post a link as soon as she does.
stuff and things:
my best boo Amy took me to get my nails done as a bday present. we went to Foxy Nails because it is the most appropriately named place for us. im a bit of a n00b as this was only my 2nd time getting my nails did, and im totally creeped out by being brusquely ordered around by a bunch of asian dudes. i had a new guy for the first half of my mani and he took FOREVER and also built up one of my pinky nails to a gargantuan thickness. the store manager brian worked on the last half of my mani and he was much better, as well as adorable... he had a little plaque with his name on it and little dangly nailpolish charms hanging from his light!! cuteness. all the regulars were cooing over him, he must be the big shit at foxy nails. i was super digging on the florescent, glow in the dark green i got, but these were way long for me even after asking for shorter about four times. ive since trimmed them down to lesbian length and theyre doing nicely. anyone have any recommendations for good nail places in the area? id prefer not to be barked at or asked to leave my purse and coat in a random chair across the salon. also somewhere where they're used to doing more than just french manis, i want something creative and not just WHITE TIP PINK TIP. where do the black ladies get their nails did???
Amyboo has been so good to me lately and while we were shopping at the mall stole me this pillbox from Icing!! there is really nothing more flattering than having something stolen for you. anyone can just buy something. a real friend steals for you. now she just needs to steal me some pills to fill it with...
then we saw a white lady with an amazing badonkadonk and leopard heels and followed her into target trying to take pictures. i saw her later that night at the gas station buying candy for her kid lol!!! im certain we'll meet again, White Lady with Badonkadonk.
i got this purse for my bday from TJ Maxx... by that i mean i treated myself to a new purse. it certainly is shiny and covered with crap, isnt it! i was madly in love with it at first but now, a week later, our relationship has soured. oh you are so pretty, blingy purse... but your chain strap is annoying, loud and wont stay on my shoulder. you make a ton of noise when i set you down on a counter or table. and you have no nice exterior pockets. and your sequin texture feels gross. sigh.
so i am once again in the Eternal Purse Struggle. i cant find good ones anywhere. i went back to TJ Maxx where i usually go when im serious about getting a purse, as they have tons of them usually of the big and sparkley variety. nada that i want right now... they have cute Harajuku Lovers ones but they arent the right size for my needs and a little too childish for what i want right now. maybe what i want is just impossible...? but when i comprimise on the whole pockets and size thing i end up hating the purse and not using it. this is seriously the hardest thing for me to shop for... other things im less picky about but the purse has to be perfect and user friendly for all my shit. Amyboo and i went to the purse kiosk in the mall where you can get those big, blingy knockoff looking purses and i found some semi-suitable ones, but they're a bit more pricey than the $40 MAX i spend on a good purse [ive only spent that once on a tj maxx purse, my other two expensive ones were in the $30 range] and the salesguy is super clingy and pushy so i didnt get a good look last time. going to check out jc penney's too as they have a pretty big selection and i got my awesome yellow purse there. why is this SO HARD??? anyone have any good purse store suggestions? ive started asking customers and ive heard good things about some boutique stores around the area, but im guessing thats expensive.
from the more satisfying end of the spectrum, on my TJ Maxx venture i also got some awesome clearance shoes!! these Blowfish shoes/booties were only $10 and are super comfortable!! i love how the fabric is bunched into little ruffles around the buttons, it makes it semi-girly. ive been wearing these with cuffed skinny jeans to show off all the buttons. SUPER COMFY, the inside is even all suedey. plus they get an A+ from my NRA-card-carrying dad. for real... he says they're "sharp."
also got another pair of $10 boots, these ones are liz claibornes! theyre a touch mom-ish [seriously, i need to keep them away from my mom so she doesnt steal them] but im a big fan of strappy things and the mini-wedge is awesome. the squared pointy toe makes them look nice and dressy, makes me feel hawt. cant beat ten bucks, seriously.
ok for reals, i need to go work on my hair. the vampires are waiting.
keep an eye on the tumblr! love you boos!
<3 your blogatrix
Jesika Gothowitz
[OMG SPEAKING OF.....guess who i found on twitter?!?! um just my boyfriend simon helberg.... and my other boyfriend fran kranz.... no big deal just the HOTTEST NERDS ON TV since the original secret boyfriend spencer reid, but everybody likes him and id rather have these two all to myself, thankyouverymuch. now leave us alone, its time for a tagteam science lesson in my bedroom.]
hello my chiclets!! i hope you all had an excellent christmahannukwanzikah, or festivus for the rest of us. or animal sacrifice to the dark lord, or drunken atheistic rambling. i had a little bit of each.
did you get all the presents you wanted from sandy claws? im still waiting for my pony. i did get some super awesome gift cards for target and **ULTA**, my mecca in the sky.
cant wait to go spend it, i think im getting this bare minerals holiday kit if they have them on sale now. i also got the cutest target gift card:
and i got this FUCKING DELICIOUS smelling candle that i picked out myself at Bed Bath and Beyond... its christmas cookie scented and smells like fucking buttercream frosting.
theres your christmas cleavage. it takes all the strength i have not to shove it down my gullet or spread it on toast.
+ minty holiday nails!!
speaking of presents, i was a totally naughty kitty and spent 90% of my xmas shopping expeditions buying shit for myself. NAUGHTY!! but xmas in my family can be a little shithouse, so i feel like i deserve to buy myself some happy. as we discussed previously, im currently on a scent expedition to make myself smell as delectable as possible. im going for the perfect yumminess that will make girls burst into flame from jealousy and boys jizz in their pants. also i just like buying things.
so ive been kind of obsessed with kohls lately, mainly for the fact that they are open til midnight during the xmas season, and since i am an insomniac vampire its perfect for me. omg i found these most excellent vera wang strappy wedge booties that i ALMOST bought for j**s xmas party [but i was worried my fractured foot might bitchslap me]. i might still buy them. at over fifty dollars they would be the most expensive pair of shoes ive ever bought for myself.
its hard to tell from the pic, but theyre open between all the straps. so its sort of a bootie-sandal hybrid that i could wear in winter with tights and without in summer. ooh, or with socks, theyd look so chic. i might still have to buy them...
so whilst at kohls i became super into their ubercheap [$12.99?~?!?!11], supercute slipper booties. normally seeing ugg-type boots or lazy ass slippers causes me to fly into a eye-scratching, hair-pulling bloodthirsty rage [everyone knows of the time i had to be restrained from attacking that girl in green sweatpants and tan uggs at cold stone creamery], but these are FREAKING CUTE. ribbon lacing, attached wooly legwarmers, and my of course my favorite, studded straps. i had to freaking get them! i think theyre stylish enough to wear as shoes. they look freaking cute with skirts and tights. i still dislike the ugly rounded toe on this style of boot, but they are so comfortable its forgiveable. i might go back and get some more booties.
oh, my slipper-bootie issue started with these bad boys from walmart:
theyre pretty much just socks with a suede bottom. but HOLY HANNAH are they cute and comfy! i cant wait til the snow goes away so i can wear them outside. you best believe ill be wearing these in summer!
so i got sucked into the fragrance area and went a little nuts.
i ended up buying a *shudder* avril lavigne fragrance, Forbidden Rose. she does a clothing line & fragrances exclusively for kohls. i kind of got over avril after the year i got my drivers license, but her bottles are pretty and shit smells good. i was torn between Black Star, which has a cuter bottle, and Forbidden Rose which surprisingly smelled better. i expected it to smell floral-y, and i normally hate flower scents ESPECIALLY rose. maybe i have an aversion because of my allergies and a lifetime of sneezing in gardens, at peoples flower arrangements, and even in the fake flower aisle of craft stores? or roses just smell yucky. doesnt matter. anyways, forbidden rose smells sort of fruity-musky to me, which is perfect. according to Fragrantica, what im smelling is red apple and sandalwood. there is a bit of lotus and heliotrope in the heart that i think i dont like initially, but i like it better once its warmed on my skin.
im thinking about buying Black Star too, mainly because the bottle is so frikking cute. omg, i think i might be becoming a fragrance junkie.
yes im totally embarrassed by this advertisement.
i also picked up a small size bottle of kohls brand Flirt!'s Flirtatious scent [$9.99 for the small bottle]. sexy lip bottle, right! so 80s, it reminds me of earth girls are easy. its a delicious sort of fruity, vanilla-y scent. not overly cloying or sweet with the vanilla, more warm. apparently it has honeysuckle in it, which is a flower scent i can tolerate. its a delicious scent, the kind you want to wear every day. seriously, i just sprayed it on my arm and i cant stop smelling it. if you like juicy, fruity scents you should definately pick up a bottle.
at the very last minute i saw a 5 pack of sparkley body sprays which includes a MARSHMALLOW TREAT scent, so OF COURSE i had to buy it, y'all know why. also it was half off so i got it for like six bucks. i figured i would divide them up among my friends and keep some for myself.
unfortunately most of them smell pretty weird to me. marshmallow treat smells kind of like mens cologne. the candy scent was pretty tasty, as well as this pink sugar frosting i kept for myself. i guess these kind of drug store fragrances are kind of hit-or-miss when it comes to actually smelling like theyre supposed to. these arent bad, just most smell kind of generally sweet. i hope everyone who got one as a gift likes them! at least theyre sparkley!
as i said, christmastime can be kinda yucksauce in my family... grandma decided she couldnt make the drive up because she had a boil in her ear. yes, a fucking boil. THE CHRISTMAS BOIL. at this point i decided i needed to get drunk as soon as christmas was over [not before, so i didnt embarrass myself in front of my aunts 86 year old mother, who is terrified of my aunt cindy's elephant painting]. so i got together with my best boos on sunday and proceed to get shitfaced at our favorite bar, the White Horse. i drank a multitude of sex on the beaches and southern hospitalities, had ice and pennies thrown into my boobs, groped my friend angie, and watched my friend Josh G. get happily molested by our sexy-geeky waiter.
das me on the left, bundled up in my coat. Josh took this photo while standing atop a giant snow heap. Jenn L. is at the top and my best homegirl Amy B. is the one in the hood looking like shes about to mug someone.
then we proceeded on to perkins, of course, where we thought we would be the annoying drunk table... OH HOW WE WERE WRONG. in stumbled possibly the most whorish creature ive ever seen in perkins, where i see a multitude of drunken sleazebag state school hos on a weekly basis [its true what they say in Superbad, "where the girls are twice as dumb and thus twice as likely to fellashe me"]. holy mother of god. you have never seen a ho like this. i dont even know if ludacris has. leopard print miniskirt. one boot up, one boot down. oddly half crimped hair. she stumbled in and tried to sit on a strange girl's lap in the lobby.
the girls were trying to help a wasted sister out by pleading with her not to bend over, which she ignored, and i took pictures. sorry they're blurry, shes distorting reality with her waves of sluttyness.
she tortured our poor homosexual waiter by bending over the counter and insisting he take her order from there. she and her fellow harpy drowned out everyone else in the place with disturbingly jersey-shore-esque hooting. i wish i can remember what they said, all i can recall now is "OMG, HOW ABOUT IF I ORDER FOR MYSELF AND YOU ORDER FOR YOU???" there were so many more gems, i wish i could remember them. at the end of the night, in a moment of pity for the waiter, i went over and asked them to be quiet. it was a very special experience, in which the whore tried unsuccessfully to focus on my face, told me her name was april and made me promise that we would be friends.
woot woot those are Ang T.'s totally bodacious bosoms creeping in on the frame. im not gonna lie, i grabbed them a few times that night. SHE STARTED IT.
overall a most excellent night. one of my high school buddies, the darlingest David H., was in town from california and we showed him the true meaning of a St Cloud good time.
i said i would blog again soon, and lookee, im doing it!
we havent even had any introductions yet, and i appologuise. i feel like i should introduce myself, but i kind of dont want to so youll have to just absorb my personality via osmosis. also i am feeling like a huge bitch right now so forgive me... or dont FUCK YOU. rather than introductions here are a few points to let you know how this blog is gonna go down:
1. while i am fully capable of writing properly as a former english major and fervent Reasoning with Vampires reader, my online modus operandi has always been to write in all lower case. its just my thing. it seperates my blog from my legit writing, and to me it makes my writing look more like my thoughts, if that makes any sense. maybe im just not assertive enought to use a capitol 'I.' but this is my blog and i can do whatever the fuck i want. feel free to correct my spelling though as long as its not capitolization.
2. in that vein, i dont edit much either. i dont like my blogs to be too polished. so i dont expect to be winning any awards.
3. while the inspiration for this blog is mainly to geek out over various fashion things [the idea came to me when when i simultaneously got a really delicious buttercream cupcake body spray/body smoothie set at Ulta for $5 and heard about katy perry's 'Purr' fragrance coming out in a super cute CAT SHAPED BOTTLE... both of blogging complusions brought on by Agent Lover's inspirational Perfumes That Smell Like Dessert post], there will also be blogs about food, my retarded love life and my exploits as a seasoned porn store employee. so this blog is going to be hella mature-audiences-only. read at your own risk. if i have to be exposed to things like "My Huge Holes #15" then so do you. no pics of such horrors though, thats what google's for.
4. as you may have noticed, i have a touch of ADHD and do a lot of rambling asides. and i use brackets instead of parentheses because i like the way they look better.
im inspired by what i consider to be the FOUR FUNNIEST WOMEN ON THE INTERNET:
#1. the afformentioned Agent Lover, whose sass has informed my internetspeak, sense of style and current perfume obsession. oh, i wish we all could be california girls.
[ps if you read this A.Luv, i hope you do not think i am biting your style too much or messing on your copyrights. you know i cant touch your glory! and im my own woman, i have my own style groove. you just inspired me to start blabbing about it on the internetz.]
#2. Robyn Lee aka Roboppy of The Girl Who Ate Everything and Serious Eats fame. ive been reading this gal for years and i love her to death. i love her sense of humor, her humility, her neverending gusto for large meals, her little drawings and her descriptions. shes just an all around awesome person. this is the food blog that got me into food blogs, and being a foodie in general.
[i do have my own super pathetic, oft-neglected foodblog, Nom Mitten... please make fun of me for using livejournal.]
#3. Thursday Night Smackdown. omfg Michelle, you fucking evil genius. again, even if you dont like foodblogs you should read this lady. whip-smart, ridiculously snarky, occassionally unappologetically bitchy. aka, my hero. occassionally has to postpone blogging due to mental health which makes me REALLY love her, because im crazy like that too. i aspire to be as hilarious as her. seriously, shes funnier than most stand up comedians.
#4. the one, the only Hyperbole and a Half. i dont need to explain to you why this is funny. i love her for much of the same reasons why i love TNS and roboppy... unstable, self-depricating and finding the absurd in the mundane. reading her post is just a series of "thats me... no THATS me...omg THATS SO ME" moments for me. many of my friends feel the same way [and we all regularly use her art as our fb pics] so i imagine her humor is pretty universal.
i hope to be a tenth as funny as these women. i hope that gives you a little background on what im trying to achieve.
and now.... THE REAL SHIT.
PART ONE: BATH AND BODY WORKS [THE OTHER BBW [THE HOT ONE IS ME!]]
so its widely known that im a blasphemous and horrible person who hates christmas. every year i walk around singing "youre a mean one mr grinch" to myself [ok, not just at christmas time... sometimes after i dump people or am mean on dates... its one of my many theme songs].
so i havent actually done any xmas shopping yet... although i have been shopping A TON... ive just been buying shit for myself >.< IM GOING TO HELL. i was at bath and body works and the cashier girl asked "who are these for?" and i was like "*blush* me..." and she was like "oh... i guess thats ok." GAWD IM SORRY I DONT GIVE TO THE SALVATION ARMY BELL RINGERS EITHER, OKAY????? i just walk right by, go into the mall and buy shit for myself because im a fat, greedy american.
but look at the cute stuff i got!!!!!!1!!.one
and it was all horrifically on sale, so its not that terrible. actually just restocking stuff i bought just after halloween. the pumpkin patch wallflowers make everyone who walks in my apartment go "OMG! it smells so fucking good in here! what is that?!?" ive decided to keep buying everything that make my boyfriend go "MMM! DAMN!" cant beat 6 bucks for two refills either!
halloween pocketbacs! Zombie Squad marshmallow is the best and its a great compliment to whatever other scents im wearing. what do marshmallows have to do with zombies? i dont care, im just glad it doesnt smell like rotted flesh. marshmallow is teh yum, and as you can see by the agent lover "damn girl you smell like christmas!" post above im going for that whole candy-scent thing. marshmallow is definately the best for that [i prefer it to cotton candy]. the others are Vampire Blood plum and Candy Corn caramel [why doesnt it just smell like candy corn??] which are good too. these are only 75 cents right now so go buy a bunch!
i bought another thingie to attach your pocketbac to your purse because im obsessed with the swirly one i bought last time [i just like to play with silicone/rubber things]. little did i know the blinged out ones are twice as expensive as the regulars, $3 as opposed to $1.50, otherwise a cheapskate like me would never have bought it. but... sparkles!!
[another thing you should know about me... im extremely poor and cheap. so you will not be seeing a lot of designer shit on here, unless its something im drooling over from afar.]
PART DEUX: FANCY DRESS XMAS PARTY
i LOVE dressing up. for any occassion, even if its just going to applebees with my friends or a movie date at my boyfriends, im usually in a skirt, fancy top, tights and heels. i dont get invited to a lot of fancy events so ive just resolved myself to being overdressed and getting asked "why are you so dressed up?" all the time. im forever making my mom feel insecure about wearing pants, but she should know thats just how i do!!
but fortunately my friend/ex bf j** is just as classy as me [and always looking for excuses to show up in his rather bonerific suit], and his girlfriend is of the theme party sort, so they had a fancy dress holiday party thrown at the Kitty Cat Klub in Minneapolis' Dinkytown. very excite!!!!
ok, i already have a closetful of fancy dresses that i hardly ever get to wear, including one i bought for my cousin kirstins wedding that i [sniff] didnt get to attend so have never worn... i also have a FABULOUS sparkly and shutter-pleated dress i just wore to my sisters wedding that i adore and dont know if ill ever get to wear again... but goddamn it i cannot pass up an excuse to buy a new dress!!! for so many reasons... cant wear a dress anyone has seen before and its my ex boyfriends & his new gf's party so you know looking hot is like PRIORITY ONE. theres no jealousy or weirdness between us and i have ZERO desire to steal him back but you know... its important to remind the guys, even ones you dont want to sleep with, who's the fly bitch in this house. that would be me.
fortunately finding the party dress was not an arduous process. i really dont want to tell you where i got it because its super trashy... but ok its like my trashy dirty secret so ill tell you... its Deb. i buy a lot of shit at deb. mainly slutty bar clothes and dresses. plus size deb is like the best thing to ever happen to my wardrobe. all my fuck-me shirts come from there. its uber trashy and for people like ten years younger than me but i dont care. im a ho, what can i say.
i'd actually tried on this dress when shopping for my sisters wedding, but wanted something a litle more high-end and with more sparkle for a nighttime wedding at the swank International Market Square. but this is party-perfect. its black with a white panel down the middle, a sheer layer over a solid one, with a satin band arond the middle and little rhinestoney things on the straps. pictured here with the creepy asian girl who hangs in my bathroom, who i sometimes call Ivy because she looks a little like my gorge friend Ivy except more creepy and watching-you-pee.
no pics of me in the dress, sorry. i assure you i was smokin.
you know when i go to a fancy party i go all-out. i wanted fancy schmancy hair so i went out [to Ulta of course] and bought some velcro rollers, popped those bad boys in my hair while i took a bath.
it's naughty 50s housewife bathtime!!
ive been experimenting with curling what little hair i have remaining for fancy events, but the curling iron is a lot of work and always frustrates me. turns out the rollers are much easier! i left them in during my bath and while i got dressed, then unrolled them, mussed up my hair a bit, sprayed it and thats all!! super easy. it helped that i did it over my poofy spiky hair from the concert i went to the night before... the awesome height of THAT style was achieve via this AWESOME stying powder called Dust-It that my stylist/friend Jess gave me.
fucking AMAZING product! a little bit sprinked on the roots, then mussed-in or teased and you hair stays big ALL NIGHT. would be awesome for you girls who rock "the bump" [which kind of gives me an 'ugh' but whatever] and great for gals like me who are always trying to achieve that gigantic motley cru/robert smith look. and it stays in your hair til you wash it out, giving it texture. so i just built my curls on top of that. atop the curls i added my favorite headband, a ridiculously huge thing with a mesh bow, feathers AND a black flower that i usually rock with goth outfits. it worked with the somewhat 20s-ish curls and drapey dress though. plus everyone knows, the bigger the better.
for makeup i did something a little risque for me and filled in my eyebrows. my gals have always been a blessing/curse as theyre dark and can get overgrown, but they are rather dramatic. i think they look pretty awesome filled in with a dark pencil, but i dont know if the rest of the world thinks so, so it makes me a little nervous. i wore this with a sparkly teal eyeshadow [but not my usual crazy metallic teal, a more subdued one-- revlon's peacock lustre] and a hot pink lipstain [also revlon... just bitten passionate]. im usually more of a lipstick fan but lipstains are the way to go when youre drinking a lot. or at least layer a lipstick or gloss over the stain so your lips wont be bare after youve been slugging the sex on the beaches all night [as i was]. my absolute FAVORITE hot pink gloss is NYX's la-la... beautiful shiny hot pink and it tastes like fruit punch!
even more important to me than the fancy dress is the shoes. you might as well learn this about me now... im a shoe fanatic. my apartment is literally lined with them. i have well over 100 pairs. all i really want in life is one of those celebrity shoe closets like fucking kimora lee simmons or something.
i have countless options i couldve worn with this dress, including the awesome black suede booties with the peep toe and rosette that i wore to my sisters wedding that are so cute they'll make you cry. but the rub here is that i fractured my foot in mid-october, just one of the tiny bones on top of your foot that connect to your toes, but it hurts like a motherfucker most of the time. since october ive been on crutches, had it wrapped, and worn a walking cast for two weeks.
seriously cramping my style. i wore the wrap over my purple tights for my friend damian's band's show on friday. its a little better now than it was a month ago, but i didnt want to risk wearing full-on heels and being unable to walk all night. i wanted to be free to mingle and possibly even dance.
ive been searching for weeks but couldnt find any flats that reached my fanciness-quota. i needed SERIOUS bling if i was even going to consider wearing flats. im not heel obsessed, i wear flats a lot of the time and in summer live in little ballet-style sneakers. but for events when i need to feel sexy i need a heel. perhaps is the mental training brought on by years of dating a man seriously into feet and shoes. since then ive always felt like my feet are under intense scrutiny, and i equate shoes with sexiness.
then i found these bad boys on sale at payless [my home away from home... the salesgirl is always like "oh hey! back for more?" when i walk in... A+ because shes adorable]. theyre the perfect shade of red... not too bright so they scream PROSTITUTE [which would def be okay in some situation, you know i love me some hooker heels at the bar but i wanted a bit more class], theyre just between red and maroon, a really classy lipsticky shade that would grace a 50s vamp's lips. slightly holiday, slightly goth. pointy toes which make me feel sexy and dangerous. i first got into pointy toes when i saw darryl hannah in kill bill vol 1, hot damn! since then theyve been lady-assassin shoes to me. i occassionally rock leopard print pointy-toe flats [my exception to the high-heels for sexiness rule, theyre perfect for dancin at the club] and metallic purple pointy-toe slingbacks. these have the perfect 2 1/2 inch heel, perfectly walkable and danceable even with a fractured foot. which is fucking fortunate because you ARE NOT going to find close parking in dinkytown.
can we say HOT?? definately getting lots of mileage out of these suckers. my fafi deer approves.
NEW BAR SHOES THAT DONT KILL MY FEET! HUZZAH! if you want these bad boys i suggest you head to payless asap because theyre on sale, possibly clearance so they'll be gone soon. theyre an awesome wardrobe boost and they brought the best pop of color to my all black and white outfit. i wore them with black crocheted-fishnet tights because was below zero here in minnesota [and the fishnet keeps 50% of my legs warm!] and that looked super hot as well.
thanks for taking this little outfit tour with me kiddos. hope you werent bored to death. more to come!!
xoxo, love you.
your blogatrix,
Jesika Lin
[ps- there were also black nails with pink bows on them, in the pics above
pss- zomg thats me at 5am with no makeup on. but ive got a cigar so im still badass.]
