Wednesday, February 9, 2011

tiny boob posse [i just called to say i love you]

just a few notesicles to keep you updated! sorry, im not updating as often as id like. i keep telling myself i need to save up a lot of ideas for big mega multi-topics posts, when really what id like to be doing is shorter one topic posts with nice photos. better photos will be coming soon when i get my new phone on friday!!!! <3

i think im channelling April Winchell in this pic. shes one of my new funny-lady heroes. if you havent already, you MUST READ her beaver suit debacle aka "Justin Beaver." i almost crapped my pants.

oh im wearing an awesome new polish in this pic too, its a SUPER chunky glitter called 'party of 5 glitters' from wet & wild fast dry. i lub it!! chunky glitters, the kind that are almost 3D, are the win. and are awesome for covering up chipped polish when youre too lazy to take it off... theres a sparkly cloud-blue polish underneath this, also w&w. and underneath THAT are some remnants of the stick on nail polish strips [might blog about later] that i couldnt get off... they were a multicolor swirl and for some reason the orange parts would not come off... so theyre part of my 3 generation nail color.

we're anticipating more good things in the next two weeks! my 27th birthday rapidly approaches, and while im devastated at how fucking old i am, the party's going to be AWESOME. im really feeling the love lately. its so awesome now excited my friends get for my parties, and im so flattered that lots of people want to come. its probably more for the sushi and booze than for my sparkling company, but i think a few people might be showing up to see how ridonk drunk im going to get and perhaps in hopes that they'll get flashed [they will. at least amy will, because i flashed her on her birthday... wait that means shes supposed to flash me! dammit. ive been ho tricked. thats right, theres supposed to be a tiny tit flash party!! jackie, amy, brittany, all my tiny boob posse should flash me together!]

its gonna turn out something like this, from amy's 25th bday this summer [aka drunkest photos of me in existence]:

thats us with brian, the best bartender in the world!!! hes so good to us!

i promise promise promise im going to take lots of pics and itll be like youre living the bday experience from your own sad computer chair!

amy is being a darling and taking me to get my nails did for my bday, im SUPER excited about that because ive only had mine done once before. any ideas for something cool i should do? i was thinking pink with black tips or maybe black with lime green tips. i guess i should nail down the bday party outfit before i decide... i have a shitload of stuff in the mail from lanebryant/fashion bug including some slutty shirts from the FB, but i usually wear a dress for my bday.... a secret part of my heart wants this ridiculously poufy dress from deb, even though it screams LOOK AT MY IM A SAD 27 YR OLD PROM QUEEN.

its not this one but its close. arrrgghhh thats really cute. is it too desperate? and if i want to go that route i could just wear the dress from my sisters wedding, or my xmas party dress [which is forever tainted by memories of my last fight with jed] or the one shoulder zebra and turquoise dress i havent even worn yet.... but... mama needs a new dress for her bday!

and ive decided that now in my advanced age its ok for me to refer to myself as "Mama," especially in the context of wanting to take the michael cera-esque perkins waiter home and "teach him a lesson." amirite? mama needs to give you a lesson in taking orders son, cuz you can not get amys salad right!

as i said im anticipating a large shipment of online pity shopping purchases coming in to lane bryant in the next two days so there will be a photo post about that! im super excited. theres slutty shirts, jeans, and the mega impluse buy: a leather fur trimmed jacket which im PRAYING fits!! if it does it will be super cute, and i wish it was here for this -12 degree bullshit weve been having! i also ordered a taupe asymetrical moto jacket that i hope will be as cute as i imagine... thinking about ordering a silver moto jacket too since i always wish i have more little jackets to throw over dresses when i go to the bar in spring and summer. wow does the fact that most of my shopping decisions involve things to wear to the bar mean i have a problem....? JEEZ I JUST WANT TO LOOK NICE FOR BRIAN THE BARTENDER. going to the bar is like my only social situation so i try to look nice, and i just enjoy it. and i lost my best little black cropped faux-leather jacket at that stupid frat party at Hamline. drinkin gin straight from the bottle, singing system of a down at the top of my lungs with a bunch of shirtless frat boys and pouring a beer all over my boyfriend because he was turning me on. i guess im just glad i was able to make it into the cab, making it into the cab WITH my jacket was a little too much to ask.

[that was also the night i encouraged a guy to jump off the balcony because his wife left him... "its ok man, i know how you feel... sometimes you just feel like jumping, and im not going to lie and say you shouldnt." its ok, he was a huge douche. his name was waylon and he was wearing a do rag. and he didnt jump. oh heres a picture of him covered in ponies:

large pink pegasus was my gift to brittany! who obvs loves ponies... i have one for her for valentines day, shhh.]

yeah... parties are good. peace out kids.

<3 hugs and kisses

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