Sunday, March 6, 2011

BWOMMMMM[let your feelings slip boy but never your mask]

this is so fucking amazing i had to blog about it right the fuck now. i linked you to Hyperbole and a Half earlier, and you better have fucking read it if you werent already because its the funniest shit in the world. somebody made a video of her story The God of Cake, which is fucking amazing to begin with and i have used many of its pictures to describe my crazy and fat moods, such as:


i hate my grandma.* i love cake so much more than her.
[*i am pretty sure allie brosch doesnt hate her grandma. she was just a child who really wanted cake. but if she does hate her grandma, more power to her. sometimes your grandma sucks and you have to hate her, it happens.] [*issues*]
and my favorite emotion, fat.
all images (c) Allie Brosch, i did not draw these and do not have any rights to them. just reposting to show how much she rocks. <3 <3 <3 lub you plz dont hate me.

anyways somebody made a video of these images set to the music of the inception trailer, and it is the most amazing dramatic thing ever and it will rock your fucking socks off. watch it NAOW!!!!:

ok right now i need to order some pizza. and mother of fucking god do i need to clean today. that is something youll never hear from me so fucking savor it while you can. but its like EVERY SINGLE SURFACE IN OUR APARTMENT IS COVERED IN CAT LITTER. how the fuck do the cats do this????? i think its a combination of Oscar von Douche playing in the cat box for hours at a time and Poppy the Mountain Hag Cat not being able to groom herself or do anything so litter gets stuck all over her feet and hairy legs and she doesnt do a thing about it. lately theres been a dusting of cat litter on the back of my couch were Poppy occassionally sits which is gross but i just brush it off. but last night as i was thoroughly cleaning the thing i noticed that in the seams between the cushions there were DRIFTS of litter, tons of it like fucking sand on a beach. OMGGGGG it was gross i almost had a meltdown like i do from gross things sometimes. and its all over the table Poppy uses to get to my couch, and the carpet so i have to wear slippers... so ugh, cleaning today. my vaccuum just vomits and dies whenever you try to use it so lets hope the carpet shark [repurposed from work] can at least get some of the job done.

wow that was a fun rant about cat litter and cleaning. sorry. that was neither sexy not fashiony. well in sexy news ive been having tons of sexy dreams lately about some of my paramours, last night i was in a casino with the foxy D and just couldnt wait to get to the hotel with him, we were making out even as we were getting out of the car and you know when you have dream makeouts that are like super intense, you can feel every little thing and its all movie-like, like you can see the sunlight sparkling off everything and its kind of slo mo and dreamy? maybe im the only person who has dreams like this. anyways there was making out, and walking through the casino where there were crazy backwoods yokels stalking us [this is happening to me in real life, theyre EVERYWHERE in st cloud lately] and planning on killing us once we got to the hotel room. whatever, we got in there and barricaded the door and went at it.

but there was also Z there, who in the dream was D's little brother, and Z was having like hot super naughty gay sex with some dude, and everything was sexy and awesome. Z has the prettiest hair.

wow totally random dream rambling as well. should not be blogging before i fully wake up or eat anything. but those are the kinds of super sexy dreams i have all the time about like every guy i meet. ive had multiple dreams about D now and the anticipation of not being able to meet up with him for weeks is KILLIN me smalls and reflected in my dream libido. libido which was totally in hybernation for a while but is suddenly ragin. OMG i even hit on a random guy in a bar and gave him my number, what the hale ive NEVER done that before [with the exception of the three people i hit on at Jacks 21st birthday bar crawl, but those were party people who i actually talked to for a while so its a little different]!! thats where i met Z. Amy hit on his cousins boyfriend also and we were just PIMPIN that night. that guy showed us his nipples and danced with us and was all out crazy... then he started yelling the n-word outside LOL. my dude wasnt exactly a peach either, he just kept saying how everything fucking sucks. OH MY GOD am i sick of whiny, lonely, depressed dudes lately!!!!! how do you ever expect to get a girl if youre going to bitch all the fucking time?!? ...except for in Z's case because i was bound and determined and i even bought him a shot to try to cheer him/shut him up. and gave him my number. oh well. that was a fun little experiment that i really dont care how it works out. im much more intrigued by whats going to happen with Amyboo and this nipple-showing racist!!

will keep you posted. keep it real, keep it sexy.
x. jesika gothowitz

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