The Moustache Lurks Tonite

booze & drugs... thats how we roll in the shire. look at what a classy fucking bitch i am. blogging with one hand.... sipping fucking merlot with the other. also a little high. we'll see how this goes.

so i got some stuff from target today, with the giftcard from my lovely sister.

domo tee shirt!! im not a huge fan of this whole hipster "moustache" trend of putting fucking staches on everything, but it works on domo because domo is fucking awesome. and i need a domo shirt. he's leaping! and yelling as always AHHHHHHHHHHH!

phone case that is actually probably impractical but its so cute and im getting a new phone tomorrow and i want my phone to have accessories and presents too.

nail polishes! ive been obsessed with nail polishes since i was 13. whenever we would go to elk river i would make my mom stop at maurices so i could get a new nail polish. i was always jealous of my friend jen because no matter how many i got she always had more than me! i was a very covetous child, ive always been a horrible person actually. anyways the obsession has continued and i always have my nails painted a bright or dark color. im always in search of "the new color," some idea i have in my mind and i can rarely find the exact color to match what im envisioning and i have to comparison shop a bunch of brands. its times like that i think i shouldve been an artist because there are so many things in my head im desperate to put out there. anyways i really like these new wet and wild fast dry polishes because of the interesting colors. the one on the bottom i got tonight, im loathe to tell you the name because its really stupid... "everybody loves Redmond." wtf. lets not name colors after terrible tv shows ok?? it looks rather corally in this pic but irl its red orange which is a color family ive been looking at for a while. its not *exactly* what i have in mind, im looking for more tomato-y red but still a touch orangish, but its very close and a super vibrant fun nail color. i got a new topcoat too [also ISO the perfect top coat to make my polish last, i have thin nails that bend so the polish flakes... working up to buying seche vite] so theyre super shiny.

i was at ye olde walsmart last night and they had just put out some awesome military/goth jewellery!! ive got no shame, i buy the cheap walmart shit and i think it looks awesome... yeah it looks a little cheap and teenybopperish but i think i make it work the way i mix it. plus goth shit is just how i roll no matter how cheap it is. and my brain is always like LOOK EARRINGS WITH A BUNCH OF SHIT ON THEM, LETS BUY EM!! im easy to please. i could never be a label whore.

totally dug this super heavy lock with a skull cameo on it. sorry this picture is SO SHITTY, i really hope when i get my new phone it takes better pictures. this one is out of focus all the time and the light always sucks.

 moi in the necklace. wearing my my favorite of my many cardigans [ive been a cardigan girl since 1998], a black and white striped with red jones new york one that i got at savers thrift store for like $9. it was a twinset but the tank it too small for me [DAMMIT, its cute too]. the shirt im wearing under it here looks fucked up because its a sleeveless dress, and yes ive got a bit of fat girl armpit overhang, but dammit i like this dress. its long and tiered, and super comfy cotton. i was wearing it over pants cuz its cold.

i really dig these earrings! super cute! i love skulls with bows. i should really get a girly skull tattoo sometime.

ok... heres another thing i feel fucking terrible about. i bought an ed hardy perfume. i really do abhorr all things ed hardy, as i am a genuinely tattooed person [i guess that makes sense and sounds really elitist... i mean i appriciate the tattoo as an art form, put a lot of thought into my tattoos and dont like things to be generic, and i consider it my "lifestyle" if that doesnt sound too ghey] and i think ed hardy is for posers who want to be "cool" without the commitment. but i guess thats what happens when a subculture goes mainstream, things get commericalized and you get the old school elitists who want to seperate themself from the n00b who can walk in off the street and just buy a tee shirt representing that subculture. its kind of sad but then again it goes hand in hand with public acceptance and its a price to pay for the ability that many [but not all] of us have to have a public service job while tattooed or peirced.

ANYWAYS sorry about the modculture rant... i could talk about that for days, also im high and a tad upset so feeling ranty. anyways i like the design on this bottle and ive been wanting to try an ed hardy fragrance without paying a high price. this travel spray bottle was only $12, compared to the $15 ive been procrastinating paying at Ulta for a roller ball fragrance. i do like the scent, its very fruity, but it smells a lot like the flirt!flirtatious fragrance i got around christmastime. i might go back and buy one of the other ed hardy varieties, they have a few and i wasnt sure the differences and the little bottles werent well labelled... as you can see on the package you cant tell what variety it is, i had to look online to see its Hearts & Daggers. with some checking on Fragrantica it looks like i might like Love & Luck more, some of the notes are pink pepper and bergamont, which is one of my favorite scents. bergamonts such a unique scent, spicy and fruity at the same time, and for some reason very tragically english to me, like the heroines in Waterhouse paintings. uggh im having weird rambling thoughts...

poppy the crazy old mountain hag cat, doin what she does best... lurkin. loomin. sneezing on the back of your neck.

thats all ive got tonight.... interesting events have occurred and that irl shit has called me away. keep it real.

-jesitrix

tiny boob posse [i just called to say i love you]

just a few notesicles to keep you updated! sorry, im not updating as often as id like. i keep telling myself i need to save up a lot of ideas for big mega multi-topics posts, when really what id like to be doing is shorter one topic posts with nice photos. better photos will be coming soon when i get my new phone on friday!!!! <3

i think im channelling April Winchell in this pic. shes one of my new funny-lady heroes. if you havent already, you MUST READ her beaver suit debacle aka "Justin Beaver." i almost crapped my pants.

oh im wearing an awesome new polish in this pic too, its a SUPER chunky glitter called 'party of 5 glitters' from wet & wild fast dry. i lub it!! chunky glitters, the kind that are almost 3D, are the win. and are awesome for covering up chipped polish when youre too lazy to take it off... theres a sparkly cloud-blue polish underneath this, also w&w. and underneath THAT are some remnants of the stick on nail polish strips [might blog about later] that i couldnt get off... they were a multicolor swirl and for some reason the orange parts would not come off... so theyre part of my 3 generation nail color.

we're anticipating more good things in the next two weeks! my 27th birthday rapidly approaches, and while im devastated at how fucking old i am, the party's going to be AWESOME. im really feeling the love lately. its so awesome now excited my friends get for my parties, and im so flattered that lots of people want to come. its probably more for the sushi and booze than for my sparkling company, but i think a few people might be showing up to see how ridonk drunk im going to get and perhaps in hopes that they'll get flashed [they will. at least amy will, because i flashed her on her birthday... wait that means shes supposed to flash me! dammit. ive been ho tricked. thats right, theres supposed to be a tiny tit flash party!! jackie, amy, brittany, all my tiny boob posse should flash me together!]

its gonna turn out something like this, from amy's 25th bday this summer [aka drunkest photos of me in existence]:





thats us with brian, the best bartender in the world!!! hes so good to us!

i promise promise promise im going to take lots of pics and itll be like youre living the bday experience from your own sad computer chair!

amy is being a darling and taking me to get my nails did for my bday, im SUPER excited about that because ive only had mine done once before. any ideas for something cool i should do? i was thinking pink with black tips or maybe black with lime green tips. i guess i should nail down the bday party outfit before i decide... i have a shitload of stuff in the mail from lanebryant/fashion bug including some slutty shirts from the FB, but i usually wear a dress for my bday.... a secret part of my heart wants this ridiculously poufy dress from deb, even though it screams LOOK AT MY IM A SAD 27 YR OLD PROM QUEEN.


its not this one but its close. arrrgghhh thats really cute. is it too desperate? and if i want to go that route i could just wear the dress from my sisters wedding, or my xmas party dress [which is forever tainted by memories of my last fight with jed] or the one shoulder zebra and turquoise dress i havent even worn yet.... but... mama needs a new dress for her bday!

and ive decided that now in my advanced age its ok for me to refer to myself as "Mama," especially in the context of wanting to take the michael cera-esque perkins waiter home and "teach him a lesson." amirite? mama needs to give you a lesson in taking orders son, cuz you can not get amys salad right!

as i said im anticipating a large shipment of online pity shopping purchases coming in to lane bryant in the next two days so there will be a photo post about that! im super excited. theres slutty shirts, jeans, and the mega impluse buy: a leather fur trimmed jacket which im PRAYING fits!! if it does it will be super cute, and i wish it was here for this -12 degree bullshit weve been having! i also ordered a taupe asymetrical moto jacket that i hope will be as cute as i imagine... thinking about ordering a silver moto jacket too since i always wish i have more little jackets to throw over dresses when i go to the bar in spring and summer. wow does the fact that most of my shopping decisions involve things to wear to the bar mean i have a problem....? JEEZ I JUST WANT TO LOOK NICE FOR BRIAN THE BARTENDER. going to the bar is like my only social situation so i try to look nice, and i just enjoy it. and i lost my best little black cropped faux-leather jacket at that stupid frat party at Hamline. drinkin gin straight from the bottle, singing system of a down at the top of my lungs with a bunch of shirtless frat boys and pouring a beer all over my boyfriend because he was turning me on. i guess im just glad i was able to make it into the cab, making it into the cab WITH my jacket was a little too much to ask.

[that was also the night i encouraged a guy to jump off the balcony because his wife left him... "its ok man, i know how you feel... sometimes you just feel like jumping, and im not going to lie and say you shouldnt." its ok, he was a huge douche. his name was waylon and he was wearing a do rag. and he didnt jump. oh heres a picture of him covered in ponies:


large pink pegasus was my gift to brittany! who obvs loves ponies... i have one for her for valentines day, shhh.]

yeah... parties are good. peace out kids.

<3 hugs and kisses

Jesika

Classy As Fuck

should i be trying to post when im this tired? we'll find out. it'll probably be mostly pictoral.

i went to lane bryant the other day for the first time in about a year. i dont go in often because i worked there for three years and ive spent way too many hours of my life inside that little mall cubicle. but they have revamped a lot of aspects of their business, they have a new logo, new credit card system and less seperation between the other brands [fashion bug catherines etc] on their website, so things are lot more user friendly. aaaaand i got a new LB credit card so i had lots of money to spend, and i needed bras and panties like mad! most of my bras and panties are from when i worked there and i left in december of 2007, so shit is getting pretty worn. NEW PANTY TIME OMG!!!!

twas the perfect time to go since they had all their valentines day styles out. VDAY PANTIES ARE THE BEST!! when i worked there i always bought the whole line every year. the cotton hipsters are even cuter than they used to be because they have this ruffle trim now.

and they had one of my favorite motifs in the world, chandeliers. i dont like them much IRL but ive loved chandelier prints ever since i got this awesome fuschia and black wrapping paper at old navy years ago. these are definately going to be one of my new favorite pairs.

also got this way cutes apple print! so unexpected. i was wearing my jammies last night when i did these pics, sorry. 3am idea.

i got 5 cotton hipsters and 5 "sexy panties" from the clearance bin. im always on the lookout for a) sexy panties to wear on dates and b) panties to wear under skirts and dresses that lie flat. i found lots of both of those so im a happy kitty, including some awesome microfiber hipsters with lace print, yays.

bra time!! people whove been in my bedroom/bathroom always comment on how many bras i have, as i have this 4-coathook thing hanging over my door that probably has 30ish bras on it. but i swear i hardly wear any of them! i should throw some out. theyre mostly from 3-4 years ago too. lots of useless ill fitting walmart bras. so i got 4 new puppies in my actual size [42DD] at the LB and im super happy! theyre all sexy as heck and their bras have gotten way more comfortable! i feel like they all have a little more coverage and better fit. these were all on sale too, $19.99 each! regularly $34.50 so its a good deal.

ive never been the type to get black, white, or god forbid nude bras [although you have to have at least one nude bra for those white/sheerish shirts... i have a pink lace trimmed one though ;)]. the thing i like about clearance bras is its usually the weird colors left over and those are the ones i like! so i got this sweet orange sherbert colored one. LB has redone their lace too and now its super soft and lies super flat so its not visable under shirts, its awesome. forgive my laziness, i didnt put any of these on i just held them up.

i love a good leopard print. this is probably my 6th leopard bra, at least. i was once told [by "evil jackie," a total cuntypie] that "leopard print can never be classy." duh it totally fucking can! sometime ill show you my sweet leopard and black patent purse with gold details, its the classiest purse i own, CLASSY AS FUCK. this bra may not be too classy but thats how i roll in the bedroom, kay?

a bright purple bra is also needed to match my glasses.

brastache! i look like brian the bartender. this is probably my new everyday bra, its gray and super smooth microfiber, with a black lace trim that adds that little sexiness. its that shape that makes it a perfect tee shirt bra.

im going back to bed. i love you kittens. mr x-face the birth control pack loves you too.

hearts and hugs,
Jesika Gothowitz
[devoted to my secret boyfriend, Howard Wolowitz xoxoxox mini-boo]

Up Harry Hamlin's Skirt [baby thinking of you keeps me up all night]

god damn my boyfriend for being so fucking awesome that i wake up with this song in my head. yes hun, you do drive me crazy by calling me a tattooed venus, but now i have to watch this video and its full of nineties tack. you know its the 90s when melissa joan hart is in it trying to be sexy. YOU WERE IN A SHOW WITH AN ANIMATRONIC CAT [A SHITTY ONE]. NO MORE CAREER FOR YOU. we'll always love clarissa explains it all though. all i ever wanted was to dress like her, and like claudia kishi from the babysitters club books [first asian crush??].

bonus baby adrian grenier!

what the fuck have i been up to lately?... well jackerella moved in. the kitchen is still a disturbing warren of boxes but we have the living room and bedroom all set up, and our all important nerd lair/miniLAN/woman cave computer area is set up, which is where we are right now. sitting a foot away from each other nerding out in our own seperate worlds. right now shes watching some show about nerds trying to compete for a job at the playstation channel, or something. and im watching britney videos. i think we're both surprising each other with how nerdy we are in more ways than either can anticipate. we're also farting a lot and enjoying watching tv from our seperate couches with our pants unzipped.



we also got our old skool Clash of the Titans on the other night [not in french though... this is a badass poster though, i wants it]. i used to watch it all the time with my mom, along with Jason and the Argonauts, which has some groundbreaking and awesome stop-motion special effects. if you havent seen this movie you HAVE TO. not the shitty remake.... but ESPECIALLY if youve already seen the remake and need even more proof that it sucks sweaty ballsack. i havent seen the old one in about ten years and it was even better than i remembered. parts of it had me lol'in so bad.

Clash stars Harry Hamlin, known to folks like me as Logan's smarmy actor dad on Veronica Mars, and husband to the uber creepy blowup doll woman Lisa Rinna. *sigh*.... logan. i miss you vmars. anyways hamlin was a young stud when this movie was made and basically trots around like a beskirted male model the whole movie with a vacant, slightly puzzled expression on his face. apparently Perseus is really confused by all the goings on in ancient greece and somehow gets roped into trying to save the city/princess and has to have a bunch of magical items and creatures help him because he's infinately fucking stupid. the gods give him a bunch of special weapons, each of which he uses once and then loses. invisibility helmet? oops, i dropped that in a swamp. awesome sword? uhh... i cant seem to keep it in my hand. whoopsies. but look at my sweet mandress!

i imagine that a lot of gay dudes like this movie because its basically two hours of mancandy. perseus wears some ridiculously fabulous little outfits. he also looks freakishly like my ex boyfriend jack, who was also pretty but useless.

dang, look at that. you can see why i kept him around even after he started acting like a chode. plus he made this awesome jim face:

one of my favorite photos ive ever taken of anyone. yes we brought our jim mug to perkins. he was just the kind of chode who brought his own mug everywhere.

anyways so harry hamlin... is pretty boy and my mom called him a "pornstar" today in a derogatory fashion. old skool Titans also had way spookier special effects in my opinion. theres something about the old monster-movie stop motion claymation that is just hella scary... maybe its the inhuman nature the clay brings to features or the jerky way they move. the old medusa was way scarier, i mean this is one evil bitch:

oh shit, you dont want to cross her! shes all wicked witch of the west + snakes. [and y'all must know, i LOVE me some wicked witch!!] i found medusa in the shithouse 2010 version to be way too human looking and also too sexy. shes not supposed to be hot-evil, shes supposed to be so fucking hideous that her UGLINESS is what turns you to stone. i mean i love me some sexy demons and evil gods, but this is supposed to be one of the scariest parts of the movie. so we go from this:

to this:

no bueno. youre not in any way supposed to want to have sex with medusa. she'll pwn your ass.

another scary bitch from the old Titans is Calibos, goddess/nymph queen Thetis's son who was cursed by Zeus to become a hideous monster. Calibos was supposed to marry Andromeda who becomes Perseus's lady, so now his only option is to send a giant vulture to Andromeda every night who carries her spirit/consciousness in a cage to his creepy swamp lair so he can tell her riddles and shit. obviously. what else is a spurned lover supposed to do. hes a total creeper who has a bunch of greek hillbillies and midgets to serve him.

yucksauce, dude. cant you feel him undressing you with his eyes? EWWW. CREEPERS GON CREEP!! i cant stop staring at his giant wrestling belt... and wtf is that on the left, a giant paperclip? little black slide trombone? its a shame they turned him into Perseus's lightning-deformed father in the remake, he lost his perv vibe. Calibos had a really creepy swishy devil tail and after Perseus cuts his hand off he replaces it with a sick trident hand!! plus then there was this whole rivalry between his mother Thetis, played by the divine miss Maggie Smith, lookin hot back in the day, and Zeus, Perseus's father. There was much more god stuff in the old one, including my favorite goddess Athena with her adorable owl pet who nestles and coos against her. She makes a version out of gold named Bubo and sends him down to help Perseus. it was by far my favorite part of the movie as a kid and he still fucking rules.

he's adorable as shit! he speaks in clicks and whistles and falls down a lot. and totally saves Pereus' ass most of the time. the dumb shit cant even handle hanging on to Medusa's head to kill the Kraken, that was all Bubo, all the way. in the remake they briefly take Bubo out of a box, decide they dont need him, and fucking leave him behind to go on their gay little quest. LAME! BAD CHOICE GREEKS!

oh yeah, and if youre still on the fence about the old Titans, there's also totally random nudity. thats right, N00Ds. right of the bat, Zeus sends Perseus and his madre to a remote island so they'll be safe while he destroys their city, and you see all little disturbingly sexual nursing going on.

dude, im freaked out just having this on my computer, im deleting it right away. OMG just as i was typing this jackie got up to get a pop and was like "AHHH! you need to warn me if youre looking at stuff like that!" goddamn it Clash of the Titans, now my roommate thinks i have a lactation fetish. EWW.

kay so then we see Lil Perseus taking a strangely nude walk with mommy down the beach. no wonder this guy grew up to wear dresses. immediately after this scene we see Perseus riding a horse bareback in a tiny loincloth. ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING CLASH OF THE TITANS??? anyways its a good movie for people who like to see women's asses and boobiez.

you also get to see Greek Barbie aka Andromeda taking a sexy bath. yay for random boobies!!

thus concludes my Titans rant. highly, highly recommend it, and you can get it in the value bin at Walmart for five bucks! cant go wrong. oh, i got Interview with the Vampire too, as well as THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE which ive been wanting to see for 6+ months. really want to have a human centipede party... maybe we could play twister. ill let you know how that goes.

keep it real, kittens. be like me: wear your female cosby sweater, cram a ginormous peice of sushi in your moth and show those bitches how its done.

xoxo,

JESITRIX

Vaginal Potsticker Downs Syndrome Bunny Girl Superplus!: Do You Believe in Love?

sorry about the dead air lately. to tide you over heres a potsticker that looks like a vagina:

and this lovely new packaging from work:

nothing says sexy like an anime bunny girl with downs syndrome.

peace out!

Lip Balm and Adult Dildo Rockers

hey dolls! finally got around to spending my Ulta gift card and instead of getting the bare minerals set or the BM eyeshadow ive been drooling over, i bought a bunch of random shit. 

i did get this Revlon "siren" lipstick that ive been lusting after for a month. Revlon was showcasing some of their classic lipsticks and i had a boner for this bright, fantastic orange. i totally love the 50s Revlon logo as well, reminds me of Barbie! [also pictured: 'android karenina' which Brittany got me for xmas!!! its an awesome read. blowing through it much faster than i did the original in college. it helps that anna's husband is a cyborg and theres a mining robot named "Tit."]

cant wait to wear it. i love me some uber bright lipstick. my fav brights are Maybelline's "cool watermelon" (super candy-bright orange-pinkyred) and L'Oreal's "sea fleur" (vibrant fushia-violet). this is over our work notebook, thats why you can plainly see "cockring" just below the lipstick. tip: dont call the store asking us to describe how cockrings work. we know youre a creeper.

ive been regressing and am super into lip smackers lately. lately ive been rocking cotton candy and strawberry vanilla. then OMG i found these special edition Paul Frank ones!!! OMFG ITS CALLED "BUNNY GIRL'S CARROT CAKE." who can resist??? unfortuantely, although its super cute, for some reason it smells like indian food to me. maybe its just my frequent trips to Star of India lately?? seriously, thats the way it smells though.

in the center we have Sally Hanson's Vita B lip moisturizer. its been super cold and dry here in minnesota and ive been craving hardcore lip balm. this stuff is super silky and makes my lips feel awesome. its berry flavored and supposedly has vitamin b, acai and pomegranate to improve your lips condition... this is mainly what i was going for as i can keep reapplying lip smackers til the cows come home but yall know it doesnt actually do anything to actually CURE your lip's dryness. plus cute clear tube!! although i was a little miffed when i checked my reciept and learned this sucker was $4.99... thats pretty fucking high for lip balm.

this has got me longing for middle school, the heyday of lip balm obsession. one time my friend Sara and i were at a party [with an actual DJ... pretty awesome for 8th grade amirite? he was our classmate though... but i saw that guy this summer doing sound for Lords of Acid!] and we ate an entire tin of cherry vanilla tip balm! it was super tasty but im surprised we didnt have terrible barfing and shitting fits. i cant remember what brand it was... it was from Target and it was some kind of "naturals" brand along the bottom of the last row... i really cant remember the name but i know it was all fruit flavored stuff and i distinctly remember things being "guava" flavored. the balm was super rich and buttery. SOMEONE HELP ME OUT HERE!!! dammit.

EDIT: its this shit!! i cant figure out what the parent brand is though, i know they carried other products as well. but that cherry vanilla balm was the fucking shit.

Sara was also the queen of the old skool Bath & Body Works. you know, with the red and white checked awnings?? there were red and white tablecloths too and the salewomen had to wear red aprons, are you remembering this shit?? shit was all in baskets and barrels, they were going for the apple orchard thing i guess. all the product labels were hand drawn fruits and stuff.

my friends and i were super into rigid roles... everyone had THEIR signature color, THEIR powerpuff girl, THEIR 'now & then' character [amirite?? i was gaby hoffman/demi moore, the chainsmoking writer of course] and of course, their official B&BW scent. Sara's was Country Apple. she had EVERYTHING. i was a mooch and always stopped by her locker between classes to borrow her lotion [i was too cheap to buy my own B&BW]. and Sara always had the creme de la creme of lipbalms, the fat B&BW stick. like twice the size of a regular lipbalm, super buttery and delicious. the best flavors were again, cherry vanilla, and sun-ripened raspberry. these products are so fucking old i cant even find pics of them, because they were totally pre-internet. if anybody else remembers these, please comment!!

edit: Jill [the blond darling in the stripey shirt below] found this pic of the old country apple logo! yup i remeber these spritz bottles with the textured top. mm it smells like my all-time favorite year, 1998! someday ill do a post on this most awesome of years.

BONUS!!!1?: OLD SKOOL JAMZ 90S PICTURE!!!

das the crew at my fourteenth or fifteenth birthday party. that would be me on the far right in my favorite 'boys lie' tee shirts, being a little babydyke. Sara is the one looking so adorably goth in one of her gazillion smashing pumpkins tee shirt [she had every single one!!] rest assured we have all grown up to be about ten million times hotter than this!! now quick, guess which 3 are married with kids, which one is a world travelling former model and which one is a polyamorist porn store employee!

sorry, major digression... gah... ok also pictured above is an OPI nailpolish from the cher-xtina 'burlesque' movie collection [did anybody see that movie? it looked like badly acted gay vomit to me]. this is called 'let me entertain you' and its a dense magenta glitter. on sale too!!

at the last minute i grabbed this pumice block for my uber peely winter heels. bonus: its called "Rock Bottom"! just like moi!!! but after this i had a horrible nightmare that i was pumicing my heel, and i sloughed off all the skin and flesh until  only had this totally awkward, weird shaped heel bone to walk on. it was fucking terrifying!! now im totally afraid to pumice myself...

how about a mini tour of some weird shit we have at work??

we just got this fabulous adult rocker/sit & spin!! my boss is totally freaked out by it because it looks so much like one of her 3 year olds toys and is totally packaged like its from fisher price. for me its somewhere in between being a good idea and being totally creepy. i mean, yes i would like a peice of furniture that would replace a boyfriend. but i would feel way fucking silly sitting in my aparment rocking and humping this thing.

this gal seems to be enjoying it though.

im disturbed/skeptical. ps this is probably my favorite totally weird photo of myself.

this is Phyllis, our mannequin. if you dont work at Fantasy Gifts, please do not take your picture with her, its just fucking weird. also do not grope her boobs or check to see what her nipples look like. i say hi to her whenever i walk by and right now im commisserating with her for still having to wear her santa hat even though its after new years. poor, poor Phyllis. [dont ask me why thats her name. thats what she was introduced as when i started 3 years ago.]

rock on, ya'll.